Can you use Instagram if you have no items with apps?

Probably not, huh?  Like, I don't have an iPhone or the like, or a camera phone, or an i-anything outside of my little Nano, but I feel like Instagram is the best thing in the world and because I don't have it it is kickball all over again in fourth-grade gym and I'm not the laaaaast picked, but I'm definitely in the bottom three.  It's because I had asthma, guys.  It couldn't be helped.

Anyway, I want in on the Instagram.  It makes pictures look so nice, and since I take the world's WORST pictures, I feel like this would catapult me to stardom.  This has to be the case, correct?  Don't bother telling me differently, I won't believe you.  The ONLY thing holding me back from fame and fortune as a photographer is lack of Instagram.  I know it to be so.

Sans Instagram.  For shame.