Right now I am spooning up applesauce from a mug I stole from my mother that I actually gave her when I was five that says "#1 Mom". The jar of applesauce is one of those three-pound guys that you actually probably didn't know existed, but they do. We are stocked with them because that is the only thing I have been able to successfully consume over the past week and I want to drink it, bathe in it, make out with it. Seriously, it's like that Meredith Baxter Birney movie, I forget what it's called, where her husband is mean to her and she sits on her kitchen floor and eats the entire chocolate cake. I have vomit on my shoes and in my hair, a result of spending the last three hours getting sick in a public bathroom, and now my nose is bleeding for the second time today. Did I mention I am at work?
Okay, so this has been an exceptionally tough day, so just now I went online and bought a Jesus book, because I literally cannot think of anything else to do to get through this. Do you think it will work? I'm not making fun, I'm serious. I am not at all opposed to religion, I think it's really nice, actually, but I've never read a book that contains devotionals - I'm actually not even sure what those are, to be honest. All I know is that none of my anti-sick medicines work, I have not slept in days, and I think it's getting to me. Case in point:
This afternoon I was walking in a crosswalk on a busy street. A cabbie was trying to drive through the crosswalk despite the fact that it was my turn to walk, and not his turn to drive. I screamed at him. He actually stopped to apologize and looked a little terrified, but it could not be helped. Well, MAYBE it could, but whatever.
I feel this is not entirely okay. So that is where my new book comes in. I think it is going to really help. Or at least get me to stop verbally asaulting cabbies. Win/win.
Just about 12 weeks to go...