Search Term Thursday - Spoiler: these are dumb

zack attack friends forever
boof from teen wolf
can someone please tell me who this gorgeous cutie
google pictures of stephanie tanner
sleep is so 2009
ONE is sort of funny.

What up Thursday?

You know how sometimes you wake up and it's a great day?  Today is one of those days.  I requested my June vacation time off, I signed up for a makeup class (Trish McEvoy!  It is going to  be awesome!!) and tonight I am not making dinner. 

OH, and I am reading a book that I love thus far.  The Paris Wife - READ IT.  So far, it is pornish for me because I think I am a female-and-not-talented-or-THAT-crazy Ernest Hemingway.  I love him, I don't care if it is clichee (I say this because I would read this and be like "Um, shut up you are annoying.") and at least in the beginning of this book (that's where I am, don't tell me the end if you read it) and I want to make love to "In Our Time" I am so obsessed with it.  So yes, for me, it is pornish. 

In college, my two best friends and I were on "Team Thursday".  Regardless of what was going on, every Thursday we would bust out our fake IDs, get really dressed up in sl^tty black pants and keep our money in our bras, and get really drunk and have so much fun.  There was even a point when two of us were not speaking for a while, and we STILL did Team Thursday and it was still awesome.  Oh, to be nineteen and dumb.  But I definitely feel like this is a Team Thursday sort of day - exciting and fun.  Except I am at work and will be going home to a 19-month-old-tomorrow and probably spend my evening watching Peppa Pig and reading mermaid books.  Both scenarios are equally fun.  Right?! :)


Annnnnnnd we're back!

Oh, hello there...

I took a brief absence to handle some family issues (no worries, everything is fine!) and now I'm back to let you know I can really shake 'em down.

Yes, that is a Dirty Dancing reference.  Dirty Dancing is totally one of those movies that you thought you understood when you were in  third grade, and then you watched it two months ago and realized you missed a TON.  Like, "dirty knife and a folding table".  Um, terrible.  I had no idea what that doctor was actually doing to Johnny's "friend".  I forget her name, but loved her hair.

I digress.

So summer's here and the time is right for drinking lots of wine and eating organic foods.  Oh, you don't know I do this now?  I buy a lot of organic stuff and I am not going to lie, it makes me feel better.  It could be coupled with the fact that I am actually eating produce, period, and buying regular stuff would have the same effect (I don't buy all organic, but I do get milk, eggs, the important produce, and cookies), but more than likely, this is something we'll never know.  Like the Tootsie Pop owl.  Or geometry.

For reals, have you guys made any changes like this that you can actually see results?  I never do anything different because I tend to be lazy, but making changes like this may actually pay off in terms of having more energy and having to wear less make-up, because my dark circles aren't as bad. 

Oh, and I'm out of blush.  Suggestions?  I find that creme blush stays on longer, which I like - I've only tried Bobbi Brown thus far and I like it, but want to try something different because, um, I do. 

Speaking of beauty products, http://www.b-glowing.com/ is awesome and they have a discount code if you want it.  They have good stuff, especially Kai perfume, which I wear in the summer and not that many places carry it.

Today I ran at the gym.  Fine, it was fast walking.  But it felt really good.  Now I'll go home and eat a bag of chips and not care because 1. I ran for 20 minutes and 2. they are organic.  Which means calorie free. 

Also, has anyone noticed that TV has been lame lately?  As someone who loves TV more than, well, anything, it's kind of disappointing.  What shows are you watching?  BESIDES Crossing Jordan, I already watched all of those.

Yes, all of those.  WHAT.

Yours in caustic freedom,



Okay, so today I got a manicure-pedicure.  I do this every so often, and today I had a Groupon, so why not?  This is why not:

1. When I was walking in, this crazy girl MUSCLED past me to get ahead of me in line.  She picked two colors that were too close to look different and too different enough to look nice and I hated her for life and gave her the stinkeye for 45 straight minutes. 
2. It was a small place and there weren't enough people so it took FOREVER and the woman kept getting up to answer the phone and stuff and it was annoying.
3. A man ended up doing my manicure after my interminable pedicure (OMG how snobby do I sound?  It just took forever and it was hot in there and I wanted to be done) and he wanted to make small talk.  I am way too shy for small talk, so it was awkward.
4. Obviously this is the part where I tell the story that I really wanted to tell.  This poor man was talking away and I was just sort of half-listening and he says "Love your necklace."  I say "thanks."  He says "It looks so good I WANNA EAT IT!"



... did you want me to repeat that?  Because that IS what he said and I couldn't leave because he was only half done and my horror and mortification was so obvious that he thankfully refused to make eye-contact with me for the remainder of the appointment.


I am STILL embarrassed for him.

Search Term Thursday

dj tanner
eddie garcia saved by the bell
lady gremlin name
pictures of merle haggard when he was young
saved by the bell kelly kapowski tite
sleep is so 2009
zack attack
baby acts mystirious
dawson sad
duckface full house nu

You are weirdish today, but not THAT bad.  What are mysterious babies, exactly?  And Lady Gremlin definitely did not have a name.  Unless she did.  In which case, it's that. 


Is this inappropriate?

Hello, little chicks.  How have you been?  I have been busy trying to do things instead of watch TV and read people.com all day, so forgive the absence.  Do you love me again?  Do you know that this is a paraphrased quote from the second-funniest SNL skit ever: Philip the Hyper-Hypo?

(Note: THIS is the funniest one ever)

Anyway, I have a moral question to put to you that of course I know the answer to, but would like to draw attention to.  It is a big problem.

Yesterday at the gym, I saw  two...

TWO of them.

My biggest issue was that while, yes, I saw them in the locker room and not the actual gym area, using treadmills or whatever, I saw them in the bathroom area.  Barefoot.  It is bad enough to have to see that, but additionally, wet bare feet on a public bathroom floor?  No WAY.  I call shenanigans and this should be outlawed. 

Yours in prudish horror,


Um, Search Term Weirdsday...

olsen twins butt
teen wolf boof
d'shawn hardell
girls in leotards showing camel toe
sleep is so 2009
violet bickerstaff
weird things happen to me blogspot
zack morris band episode


Um, why did nobody tell me about her?

The Bloggess.

I kind of feel like how I did when I didn't know there was OnDemand.  Cheated.  But relieved I know about it now.  And yes, I am reading from the beginning, which was 5 years ago.  So basically, I'll see you ni a week?

The Happiness Project

I started reading this book, The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin this weekend and it's really resonating with me.  She's basically taking a mindful look at her life and behavior and actively trying to become more happy by improving the way she lives.  I like it because I feel like I do the exact same thing - but then, doesn't everyone?  I sometimes wander through a day in a fog, not really doing anything of value, and still feel tired at the end of it - probably because I'm not doing anything to stimulate myself and that's draining.  I do dumb things that don't make me happy - I'll drink too much, I'll eat too much, I'll not-think too much, and what am I left with?  Nothing of much value.  And I'm not talking about "things", though more things like money would be awesome, you know what I mean, but when it comes down to it, living your life more mindfully cannot be a bad thing.  So in the most general and non-identifiable of terms, that's what I am going to start doing. 

Actually, I can make this a list.  What would make you happier?  Here's what would probably make me happier:
1. Living in the moment, which is something I know I think about all the time because I am a planner and tend to gloss over the present in order to think about the future.  In some cases, that is fine and even necessary, but I know I am missing out.
2. Being truer to myself.  Thinking about the things that make me happy and actually doing them, instead of stumbling and grasping and wasting time and energy on dumb stuff that doesn't.
3. I know this is dumb, but being more confident about how I look.  This is what I mean: when I don't feel comfortable with the way I look, I become the creep I was in high school and that helps nobody.  I am the type of person who has a better time when I feel good about how I look, and that includes the following: how I look on the outside in terms of what I am wearing, how my hair and makeup look, and how I feel on the inside in terms of getting exercise, eating better, and drinking less.  So, well, I guess we'll do that.
3a. Also, being happy with what I have.  I am always thinking what I buy is slightly wrong, so I need     something else to make it perfect.  Dumb way to think, and expensive.  Work with what I have, and be cute and stop overthinking it.
4. Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.  This was a phrase I heard once when I was a kid, and it stuck with me, because after I heard it, the other shoe did drop.  So I guess I feel like when things are going really well, I'm always waiting for something to go wrong.  And things are really, really great in my life right now on so many levels, so I know I am wasting time thinking about everything that is going to now go wrong because I don't deserve to have a happy life.  Which, yes, I realize is TERRIBLE, and has to be worked on ASAP because nobody can go through life like that - if someone told me that is basically their life philosophy, I would be horrified.  So why is it sneakily mine?  Got to stop that right now.

(note: This is a total brain dump.  I will be writing a Saved by the Bell Thursday to make up for this post haste.)

5. Quit living in total fear of being a disappointment and as a result, people not loving me.  This is also a bad one, obviously.  I don't want Bink to EVER think this way about herself, but if it's such a prevalent attitude in my own life, how can she not pick up on that?

So that's what I've got to work on.  Reading this over, I realize that I am in a semi-constant state of panic, waiting for everything to go wrong and people realizing that I am a total fraud and failure.  That needs to end, NOW. 

So how was your weekend?  :)

Search Term Thursday... on Monday

sleep is so 2009
das labyrinth david bowie wurm
dawson sad
dj tanner
five yard pantaloons pants
stephanie tanner
violet saved by the bell
zack attack
brooke davis baby
brooke davis mom style

Obviously pantaloons wins.  Because also two people looked for it. 


The Hibernation Diet

Okay, so over the weekend we went to an AWESOME festival that Bink loved and we loved and they had whoopie pies eight inches across.  SO much fun.  There were tons of booths and crafters and fun stuff like that, and there was a guy selling honey, so we bought some.  We were talking to him and he mentioned that his daughter did something called "the hibernation diet", where you take a spoonful of honey before bed, and your liver maintains it's function, you sleep well and you lose weight.

Say what?  You mean you can eat something sweet, sleep, and lose weight and become superstars like these chicks?

Saved by the Bell - 02x09 Jessie's Song

Fine.  So we started doing it.  Husband has had no effects, I have been sleeping like the dead and having REALLY weird dreams.  But I'm feeling rested and eating a LOT more, which is probably a win-win for everyone, right? 

Obviously I do not know anything about, well, anything, so who knows what the deal actually is, but better sleeping is always nice, so there you have it.

When I am a frail Olsen twin next week, you will know why. 

One, two, three, BEND!  One, two, three, STRETCH!


May Day, May Day!

There's no problem, guys, it's just May 1.  I think this is the day when people are supposed to leave baskets of flowers and cash at your door, right?  There is no way that is not a thing.

Today it is raining, and it seems that no amount of caffeine will put pep in my step.  But can I tell a funny story to all of you even though only people who live in the Boston area will think it is funny?  Okay, I am going to.

So every morning I take the train to work and every morning these goony guys sit near me and I make faces at them for the entire ride because all they talk about are really stupid things.  They are probably two or three years out of college, and they are OBNOXIOUS.  I seriously can't stand them, and whenever one of them dares sit with me I roll my eyes dramatically and whisper "shut up" under my breath for the whole ride.  Okay, I will set the scene...

Morning.  Sleepy, quiet commuters being sleepy and quiet when two early-twenty-somethings, dressed obnoxiously in trying-too-hard-preppy-ironic outfits (including sunglasses when it is raining), loudly and obnoxiously sit down in the seat across from K, who is trying to put on her makeup and read US Weekly in peace, to no avail.  The prepsters pull out their phones and begin talking.

Ahole1 (I think that is his Twitter name): Dude, my uncle can totally get us a sweet deal on an apartment, he's a realtor.

Ahole2 (consulting his phone): It looks like there are a ton of places in Brighton.   Do you know what Brighton is?

Ahole1: No.  Is that like a town?

Ahole2: Maybe.  It's EXPENSIVE.  And it doesn't even look like it's close to anything.

Ahole1: I don't want to live there, then.  What else?

Ahole2: Dude, what is Mission Hill?

Ahole1: It's in the South End.

Ahole2: Well it's really cheap, and it's SO much more convenient than this Brighton.  It's right on the Green AND Orange lines.  Brighton is expensive and doesn't have anything. 

Ahole1: The South End is hot now.

Ahole2: Well then you know that's where I am.

Ahole1: I'll call my uncle.  He'll hook us uuuuuuup, yo!

And K throws herself out the window.

To those not from the area, Mission Hill is one of the less safe areas of Boston, not in the South End, which is the up-and-coming, pretty, expensive neighborhood of the moment, and Brighton is a nice, safe little neighborhood that is populated almost entirely by people these goons' age. 

That is my story of the day.