There's no problem, guys, it's just May 1. I think this is the day when people are supposed to leave baskets of flowers and cash at your door, right? There is no way that is not a thing.
Today it is raining, and it seems that no amount of caffeine will put pep in my step. But can I tell a funny story to all of you even though only people who live in the Boston area will think it is funny? Okay, I am going to.
So every morning I take the train to work and every morning these goony guys sit near me and I make faces at them for the entire ride because all they talk about are really stupid things. They are probably two or three years out of college, and they are OBNOXIOUS. I seriously can't stand them, and whenever one of them dares sit with me I roll my eyes dramatically and whisper "shut up" under my breath for the whole ride. Okay, I will set the scene...
Morning. Sleepy, quiet commuters being sleepy and quiet when two early-twenty-somethings, dressed obnoxiously in trying-too-hard-preppy-ironic outfits (including sunglasses when it is raining), loudly and obnoxiously sit down in the seat across from K, who is trying to put on her makeup and read US Weekly in peace, to no avail. The prepsters pull out their phones and begin talking.
Ahole1 (I think that is his Twitter name): Dude, my uncle can totally get us a sweet deal on an apartment, he's a realtor.
Ahole2 (consulting his phone): It looks like there are a ton of places in Brighton. Do you know what Brighton is?
Ahole1: No. Is that like a town?
Ahole2: Maybe. It's EXPENSIVE. And it doesn't even look like it's close to anything.
Ahole1: I don't want to live there, then. What else?
Ahole2: Dude, what is Mission Hill?
Ahole1: It's in the South End.
Ahole2: Well it's really cheap, and it's SO much more convenient than this Brighton. It's right on the Green AND Orange lines. Brighton is expensive and doesn't have anything.
Ahole1: The South End is hot now.
Ahole2: Well then you know that's where I am.
Ahole1: I'll call my uncle. He'll hook us uuuuuuup, yo!
And K throws herself out the window.
To those not from the area, Mission Hill is one of the less safe areas of Boston, not in the South End, which is the up-and-coming, pretty, expensive neighborhood of the moment, and Brighton is a nice, safe little neighborhood that is populated almost entirely by people these goons' age.
That is my story of the day.