Best Movie Line Ever

"Is this the ear you can't hear on?  George Bailey, I'm gonna love you 'til the day I die."

Binks and I are watching It's a Wonderful Life, and this is just how I want Christmas Eve to always be.

Merry Christmas!! xoxoxo


OMG, You Guys!

Okay, you guys are awesome and TB I adore you.  I sounded like the saddest little monkey in the world yesterday, which was not my intention.  I was feeling dumpy, but my situation is FAR from dire and I thank you so much for your kindness - I was drama and you were awesome.

Saddies... then.
All better!


I Just Want to be...



Wait, let's back up.  Do you do this?  I am always looking at other people and thinking "Oh, I wish I were funny like them" or "I wish I were outgoing like they are" or "I wish I dressed so well, like her" but I never stop to think about what I do well, or what I am like - you know?  It's sort of a dumb thing that made me think of it.  Here's what happened:

I was at a department store where I had a gift card and decided to treat myself to some makeup.  I wasn't wearing any so I looked like, well, an ogre and I was talking to the woman at Bobbi Brown (because that's what Kate and Pippa use and, well, they are perfect) and telling her I wanted a few things for everyday that looked pretty but still natural.  We were experimenting and she pulled out a really pretty red color when she meant to pull something rosy and neutral and she said "Oh, my!  Sorry for scaring you there! That's a bright red, we won't use that!" She was being nice and making a joke, but I love makeup.  I usually wear it everyday, and lots of it.  But since I looked like a hobo sidling up to the makeup counter, obviously she thought I was one of those hippie girls who have frizzy hair (mine is just greasy from not shampooing daily, thankyouverymuch - just kidding, well, it probably is a little greasier but I am sort of loving the every-other-day thing) that, like, doesn't understand what highlighter is.  Der.  I own like five of them.  They lift and separate!

So I got to thinking that the image I am projecting is 100% NOT the person I actually am right now, but what AM I? 

We could get into it, but come on, I know I'm just like everyone else.  Sometimes I'm one way, sometimes I'm different.  Right now I am wearing navy polish, and wish I were wearing something neutral.  Worrying so much about appearances is dumb, but I think that when I'm feeling awkward and not confident about myself, it's easier to focus on hair and makeup and the outside things rather than really ask yourself WHY you are feeling awkward and not-confident. 

So even though I don't make New Year's Resolutions (I always do birthday ones) I think I am going to try to make an effort to feel, well, less awkward and not-confident and I won't really care so much about lipgloss and blush. Well, I always will, but you know what I mean.

Being Fancy

Husband and I went on a date to a fancy restaurant this weekend, which we have not done since Bink was born.  It was AWESOME.  The place was amazing and it really recharged us, you know?  Before we had dinner, we went to this cool little bar across the street from the restaurant and I got this.  It was heavenly.  A definite must-try, or make at home? 

Can you do that with lemon peels? If yes, can I come over?

The story of how the French 75 became popular and received it's name is said to be that it created by Harry MacElhone for returning WWI fighter pilots. It is named after an artillery gun called the French 75 which, like the drink, was known for it's kick. This drink can also be made with brandy in place of the gin and there is some question as to which version is the real French 75, but gin is the more common now. To add another twist, if the same drink is made with vodka for the base spirit, it is a French 76.


  • 1/2 oz lemon juice
  • 1 oz gin
  • 1/2 oz Cointreau
  • Champagne


  1. Pour the lemon juice or gin and Cointreau into a cocktail shaker with ice cubes.
  2. Shake well.
  3. Strain into a chilled Champagne flute.
  4. Carefully add the Champagne.
SOOOO good.

Playdate Etiquette

What is it?  You guys tell me and then I'll tell you what I did.
This is the f$cking stupidest thing I've ever seen. If any of you have these I demand my best friend necklace back.
Here are some clues:

EVERYONE wants their kids to have more greens.

It's All Right, 'Cause it's Saved by the Bell Thursday! (Yes, on Tuesday)

Can you believe it's Thursday again?  Already?  Even though it is Tuesday.  I firmly believe certain days are faster than others.  Tuesday, for example.  Lamest day of the week.  When I was a Big Sister, my Little Sister suggested we meet on Tuesdays so at least something good happened on such a crappy day.  She was the best.  Anway...

Today's righteous rando is none other than sweet little Penny Belding.  Penny Belding, you say?  But Mr. Belding and his wife Becky have a baby son, Zack, not a daughter!  Der, Penny is Mr. Belding's niece!  In from elsewhere (ha I forget where) on a weekend Kelly is celebrating her birthday at the Max and expects Zack to be her date, but Mr. B has other plans... in order to evade detention, suspension, or some equally horrible fate, Mr. Belding is willing to let the whole thing slide IF he takes Penny out when she comes to town.

What's a Preppy to do?!

Obviously, you pop Screech in a blondie wig, give him a fetching blazer, and have him take Penny out instead!

So Screech takes Penny out and it's a Taylor Swift video of romance and adorableness - this plan was perfect, Zack!  It can't possibly go wrong!!

Yeah, right!  Everyone knows that when Screech is involved, highjinks ensue, and this is no exception.  Screech brings Penny to the party, and when Kelly comes over to introduce herself, Penny gushes about her hot date, Zack!  And then we all remember the classic line: "He's so hot, he makes my teeth sweat."  And Kelly FLIPS and calls poor puny Penny (she is literally 3.5 feet tall) a "not nice girl" and before a full-on fight breaks out, all is revealed and then I don't remember what happens.  What?!  I probably last saw this episode in 1999.  Even though it IS a good one.

She's definitely thinking he's a tasty dish. HA!
  Let's see how the webs remember this one...

Penny Belding
Richard Belding’s niece. She was blonde and bubbly, but no one wanted to date her as she was related to the Principal.
During Zack’s sophomore year at Bayside, he earned himself a Saturday School detention. In order to be released from serving time and to be able to attend Kelly’s upcoming party, he signed a treaty with Mr. Belding agreeing to take Penny out on a date on Friday in lieu of serving his sentence. After making this agreement, Kelly informed Zack that her birthday party would also be that Friday, since the Max was booked on Saturday. In order to make Kelly’s party, Zack trained Screech to imitate him, so that he could take Penny out on the date instead; this worked out well because Penny was attracted to Screech, but she angered Kelly when she said that she was hot for “Zack,” thinking that was who Screech was.
She was played by actress Jodi Peterson, who also played Ben Seaver’s girlfriend, Laura Lynn, on Growing Pains.

Okay, they miss the many, many subtle nuances of what makes this episode awesome.  And they lie - Penny is totally from out of town, so nobody knows her.  And I love that they say "treaty", which I don't remember, but enjoy fully.  But who is Jodi Peterson?  I remember Laura Lynn, but I bet there is more. 

Annnd, there isn't.  She was in Growing Pains and SBTB, and like, that was it.  But really, if you hit those two shows, what else would you even be interested in doing?  I'd chuck it all and go work at the mall.  Or the Bayside High Bookstore.


Okay, full disclosure

I'm trying something new.

You are aware that I think I am French, non?  Ha, whateva.  Anyway, I chopped off my hair at the beginning of the summer, and I'm due for a cut.  However, it is WAY too short still and I want it to grow, like ten more inches, in addition to the bangs that seemed to have STOPPED GROWING COMPLETELY, so I am trying a new tack.

I'm washing my hair every other day now.  Well, starting today.  Meaning, I washed it yesterday and today in the shower I just rinsed and conditioned it. 

I feel GROSS.  But I think it will save my hair.  Does this actually work?  I'll keep you posted...

Dear Bink, You are NOT the third Olsen twin.

Start eating.  Love, Mom

So, Bink is a big girl.  She is a big eater, accordingly.  Except when I feed her.  This child will NOT eat for me.  Or drink out of a cup, which is making diaper time much easier because she is totally dehydrated as a result. 

Copy the glasses, Bink, NOT the eating habits. HMPH.
I am SO frustrated.  And taking it personally, because if she eats for EVERYONE else, it's my fault.  If it's everyone else, it's you.  That is a fact.

Girly Indulgences

Do you guys get like this?  When I feel like nothing is going my way, or I'm just kind of out of sorts, I immerse myself in a beauty routine.  I don't know why, but if my nails and hair look nice, I feel like I'm more in control of things.  I'm a total beauty junkie and I like to know what everyone uses, and if I should use it, so if you have suggestions, let me know, as I am still on the hunt for a perfectly long-lasting blush and the PERFECT lipstick.  I'm getting close, but no clear winner yet.

Also, are there certain brands that you NEVER buy, for no reason at all?  I never buy Estee Lauder, for example.  I'm just not interested.  There is no reason, but I just don't.  Okay, I know this is totally boring...

Here's what I can't live without.  What can't you live without?

1. Mario Badescu Buffering Lotion.  When I got pregnant, I became a walking, vomiting zit.  OMG, that is the grossest EVER.  But it's true.  Anyway, I tried a billion things and the only thing that helped - and helped AMAZINGLY, were Mario Badescu products.  They are frickin awesome and, as someone who battled breakouts for, like, ever, I know all about every product ever created for all time.  This product is the champ, though.  A total must if you have skin, like, at all.
Buffering Lotion
OMG you're welcome.
2. Dior Addict perfume.  Hands down the best perfume ever.  In the summer, I change it up and wear Kai, because Addict is a very heavy scent, but outside of that, I wear nothing else.  Sort of like Marilyn Monroe, except a different perfume and I also wear clothes.
Dior Addict
I feel fabulous when I wear it, which is the whole point, right?
3. Laura Mercier Secret Camouflage.  Again, when I was pregnant and the ugliest person of all time, this did wonders in terms of covering up my splotches, blotches, and tearstains (there was a LOT of crying that year).
Secret Camouflage
Spackletastic, baby!
4. Sara Happ The Lip Slip.  So lip products are my downfall.  I have billions and it is sick and gross.  But this is now the ONLY lip balm I use.  It's a little expensive, but I have had my tub for over a year now and I am halfway done (use it constantly) and better yet, I haven't bought any other lip balms that whole time.  So it's really SAVING money.  Right?!  People have told me her lip scrub is heaven as well.

Get this immediately.
 What can't you live without?  What should we all try?



I KNEW it would!

So at Thanksgiving I definitely posted a... um, post called "Turkey Whores", because I wanted to see if someone actually searched for that, and if so, if they would get here.

Today, my friends, it happened.

A true turkey...
"-porn turkey whores"

You're welcome.  Sigh.  I don't know why this is such a victory, but it IS. 

Christmas Songs (fine, just one)

So Christmas music is now my favorite thing of all time.  In theory.  Right now I am listening to Pandora Christmas, and I hate, like, every song that's playing.  Sidenote: did you know The Kinks have a Christmas album?  I randomly love The Kinks the most.  Anyway, so I am suffering through this dreck just so I can hear The Song.  The One Song.  The Only Christmas Song I Like.  Actually, it is in my top five songs of all time, ever.  That is how much I love it.  I was out once and one of the people I was with paid the DJ $100 to play it.  What is it?

Christmas Wrapping, by the Waitresses.  Complete with the worst and creepiest video of all time.  OMG.

Now, here's the thing, and let me know if you agree: It doesn't count unless you hear it on the radio, randomly.  Like, I have this song on my iPod, but I don't count it because I can manipulate my iPod to play whatever I want, whenever I want.  On the radio (regular or streaming, whatever), it could be weeks before it came on when I was in the car, and if I did catch it, it was a major victory.  This is normal, right?  Like, the correct way to do this? 

ECCH... I've been listening for like 2 hours and NOTHING.  This is horsesh!t.


What's Happenin' Hot Stuff??

I had food poisoning last night.  It was horrible.  Excuse my lack of brainpower.  I'll be back tomorrow.

Keep it clean, kiddos...


Okay, for realsies...


I have a friend who I just made who is awesome and fabulous and I would like to be her.  No joke.

This is what happens when you Google "Saved by the Bell jealous". You're welcome.
And today I found out that her husband is an amazingly talented artist (artisan?  I'm not sure the exact terminology, but once you see this stuff, you will forget about me for life and want to only be friends with them.) who makes gorgeous wood pieces that I am dying over.  I want all of it - what I got I am obsessed with.  You need to see this stuff and and buy it and people will be jealous of your awesome taste. 

Because I am computer-idiot I am posting this link, but if it doesn't work or you need more information, let me know, okay?  You WON'T be sorry (say this like Janeane Garofalo in Reality Bites).

Click the link. It's better than My Sharona. Most things are.

Rain King Woods. OMG. You're welcome.

When We are Poor...

Well, not really, but with my very fabulous trip this weekend, where I did not fall asleep (seriously fall asleep, not pass out, I am boring) at 8:15 pm, and all of my Christmas shopping done, I am trying to cut back for a few weeks and enjoy the simpler (read: freer) things in life.  This weekend will be spent making Spritz cookies (finally, I've been bragging about them for 5489 years and still have yet to make them) and catching up on all of the Christmas DVR I've missed (does anyone remember The Christmas Toy?  Why do I?  I taped it last week and I totally remember it but don't remember it at all, does that make sense?  It's kind of creepy.  I will watch it again this weekend and let you know how it is.), which should be lowkey, but in addition I also went to the library today to grab some books and some music for Bink.

Now, I love the library, it is legit my favorite place in the world (EVEN moreso than the old Littlest Bar - look it up, you'll love it, too) but it drives me INSANE when this happens: a person goes up to the desk, asks for something they've placed on hold, and the person behind the desk, without fail, asks for his or her library card, and they panic and have to look for 456908 minutes to find it.  Dude.  You can't do anything at the library without first giving the librarian the library card.  TWO people in front of me did this today and I wanted to punch them in the neck.  And they didn't even owe me six hundred dollars (PLEASE tell me you get this Gap Girls reference!).

Anyway, I digress.  And to further digress, I present to you the greatest pictures of all time:

Please. Kelly and DJ were obviously the best ones, and should go bang-to-bang.

No way. The only thing they have in common is a love of bike shorts with skirts. But everyone did that, so whateva. Please.

Both annoying, both had secret boyfriends (Duckface and Gavin the environmentalist in the cut day episode) so this is about right. Also, they were both the worst ones.
So I got Bink some new music that hopefully doesn't make me want to poke my eardrums out.  Which is both painful AND makes you deafish - not Miss Simpson deaf, but I did it a few years ago and it was the worst, so I will let you know what I think, and if I like it, and if you should buy it.  Or take it out of the library for free.

It's All Right, 'Cause it's Saved by the Bell Thursday!

Good morning, class!

Good morning, Miss Simpson!

I said, good morning, class!
Okay, I KNOW this is teeny, but I felt like it was too wordy right here and needed a little something.  Yes, this is a current picture that I took of my Michael Jackson Barbie and Heart Family Dad that I still own. 
Oh, yes, friends... it's that time... you know it's that time... (please tell me you are familiar with Lavonne and Barry Sagittarius from The State - either that or their $240 worth o'puddin... PLEASE?!)

Saved by the Bell Thursday!!  And today our totally terrific tertiary toots (what up thesaurus.com!) is our sweet little deaf teacher with a hankerin' for love stories, skateboarding and a bad back.  Here is what I remember:

Miss Simpson was randomly British and LOVED Shakespeare and totes deaf.  And when Kelly dropped Zack for Jeff the hot college man with the wandering eye, Miss Simpson TOTALLY burned them both by having them act out Romeo and Juliet on top of her desk. 

Oh, and in one episode she gets a hearing aid, but it's too hilariously sensitive and then she pulls it out! 

Please read the nonsense on the blackboard. What IS that?!
Okay, Interwebs, gimme whatcha got!

Mrs. Simpson was the nearly-deaf, British-accented teacher who taught English class. She also appeared at the beginning of junior year and embarrassed Kelly and Zack by referring to them as “Bayside’s Most Beloved Couple” just a short while after they broke up. She said she didn't like Zack, and once wore a hearing aid that she discarded because the titular bell caused painful sound waves to assault her. She also made an appearance in the pilot episode of The New Class. She was played by Pamela Kosh.

Titular.  Moving on.

Who is this Pamela Kosh?  Obviously I was right about everything, but who is the real woman??

Okay, so she starred in exactly one episode of every show ever, much like our dear friend Craig Strand aka I can't remember his real name, but she was in So Little Time (I don't care I loooooved this show - Olsen Twins for life!!) and Kirk.  Okay, let's talk about Kirk for a second.  Because I've never heard of this show before, and neither has my best friend, who works in TV now and whose coworker WORKED on this show and has a mug that says "Kirk, Season One" that we all want for ourselves and now this show has come up twice in three days.  Coincidence???  I don't know.  Probably not.

DJ's Brother.
Also, does anyone else feel funnier when they are full and caffeinated?  I had a latte this morning, but just housed a Kashi bar and a FULL FAT COKE (blaspheme!) and now I feel like a hundred bucks.



OMG, this wedding was not to be believed.  When I have some pictures where I have skinny arm, I will show you.  Highlights:
1. Jack in the Box.  HEAVEN.
2. Chili's - the only acceptable place to go for lunch when you are 50 miles from the Mexican border, right?
3. Wine, wine and more wine.
4. Getting one's hair and makeup done does wonders for the psyche.
5. It was colder in California than it was in New England this weekend.  I felt smug.  Not sure why.

Also, don't EVER fly American.  It is beyond terrible.  It had the best time for us to fly, but was such a disaster it would have been worth it to take a later flight or pay more.  SICK.

Also, who is ready to celebrate?  Husband got a new job!  Hooooooooooray!!

Also, Bink is starting to "talk".  Being 13 months old, this is not terribly surprising, but it IS terribly cute.  Here is what she is saying:
1. Dad
2. Hi
3. Bye
4. Tick tock
5. Good girl

It is the cutest ever.  I'll try to film it for you.

And I know I said "also" four times, but it was necessary.


Some good books...

Anyone?  I'm currently obsessed with Francoise Sagan (live it, love it, I'm telling you), but I feel like I keep picking duds out at the library.  No, I don't mean picking out cool outfits, I mean I keep accidentally getting boring books about deep water diving or other things I don't understand/care about.


Something like this, really, but that I haven't already read...

I'm actually not opposed to re-reading these, but they only take like 20 minutes to get through. Also, do NOT read Sweet Valley Confidential. It is NOT what you want to have happened happen.