Wait, let's back up. Do you do this? I am always looking at other people and thinking "Oh, I wish I were funny like them" or "I wish I were outgoing like they are" or "I wish I dressed so well, like her" but I never stop to think about what I do well, or what I am like - you know? It's sort of a dumb thing that made me think of it. Here's what happened:
I was at a department store where I had a gift card and decided to treat myself to some makeup. I wasn't wearing any so I looked like, well, an ogre and I was talking to the woman at Bobbi Brown (because that's what Kate and Pippa use and, well, they are perfect) and telling her I wanted a few things for everyday that looked pretty but still natural. We were experimenting and she pulled out a really pretty red color when she meant to pull something rosy and neutral and she said "Oh, my! Sorry for scaring you there! That's a bright red, we won't use that!" She was being nice and making a joke, but I love makeup. I usually wear it everyday, and lots of it. But since I looked like a hobo sidling up to the makeup counter, obviously she thought I was one of those hippie girls who have frizzy hair (mine is just greasy from not shampooing daily, thankyouverymuch - just kidding, well, it probably is a little greasier but I am sort of loving the every-other-day thing) that, like, doesn't understand what highlighter is. Der. I own like five of them. They lift and separate!
So I got to thinking that the image I am projecting is 100% NOT the person I actually am right now, but what AM I?
We could get into it, but come on, I know I'm just like everyone else. Sometimes I'm one way, sometimes I'm different. Right now I am wearing navy polish, and wish I were wearing something neutral. Worrying so much about appearances is dumb, but I think that when I'm feeling awkward and not confident about myself, it's easier to focus on hair and makeup and the outside things rather than really ask yourself WHY you are feeling awkward and not-confident.
So even though I don't make New Year's Resolutions (I always do birthday ones) I think I am going to try to make an effort to feel, well, less awkward and not-confident and I won't really care so much about lipgloss and blush. Well, I always will, but you know what I mean.