Reasons Why I Can't Work Out.

When I am feeding the baby at 3 am, I'm like "I should totally work out tomorrow."  And then it's 6 am and I'm like "Oh, TV."  So there goes that.  Except we DON'T watch much TV, which is heartbreaking, but what can you do?  Anyway, there are many other reasons why it is impossible for me to work out.  Here is a sampling:

I have a two year old and a newborn.  I'm too tired to work out.
I was sick when I was pregnant two months ago, so I'm still recovering from that.
I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm not wearing a bra, and I spent the whole day running errands.  I'm too embarrassed to work out.
Spanx were invented for a reason; if I don't use them, they'll go out of business.  It's really for the Spanx employees.
My kid has croup.  I need to sit next to her and watch Peppa Pig.  No time to work out.
Also, my kid has croup.  Can we discuss?  If we do, there will definitely be no time to work out.

And here is the biggie, the one that always tips the scales to laziness:
I. Don't. Wanna.

So when I cry at 4 p.m., about to leave for a 6 p.m. wedding and the dress I bought doesn't fit around my butt, I have nobody to blame but myself.  Or EVERYTHING ELSE, see above.


Baby's here. But, really...

So I had the baby.  He is the cutest ever and I am obsessed with him.  It's pretty sick, but it can neither be helped nor stopped.  Bink LOOOVES him, which is also awesome.  But honestly, that's not why I am writing today.

I want Instagram.

No, I do not own a Smartphone.  And apparently you can't do it on the computer.  But I honestly feel like my life would improve drastically if I had it.  I would do so many cool things and activities.  People I barely talk to could see what I had for dinner!  I desire it, I crave it, and nobody will get it for me.

Granted, I could go to the store (AT&T?  I think I have that.  Can you still have that one?) and upgrade my plan from when I got my first cell phone at age 23, but come o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-nnnnnnnn-ah.  I don't wanna go, I hate the cell phone store!  Someone just do it for me, right?  Alas, that has yet to be the case,  so my life will continue to be terrible.  Or something.

Also, do you know what Snapchat is?  Any why it was invented????  SICK!