It's All Right, 'Cause it's Saved by the Bell Thursday!

YAY!  Best time of the week!  BESIDES wine o'clock, I'm human after all.  Time to hit up the old Bayside yearbook (class of 198-fabulous) and see who we've got today...

Drum roll (by Slater, drummer of Zack Attack) please...

It's Johnny Dakota!

Seriously, he is in my top three FAVORITE random characters on SBTB for many, many reasons:
  • Cool hair
  • Cool jacket
  • Johnny sweat (you remember the sunglasses Lisa bought "complete with Johnny sweat")
  • When putting together the blocking for the commercial he points to the stick figure that is supposed to be Kelly and he smoothly says "But you have more curves." 
  • How he calls Zack "friend" when he is mad and Zack is like "you are NOT my friend, drugface"
  • He has a sexy manager who follows him everywhere.
Okay, so here's what happens in this episode.  Johnny Dakota's hot car (it HAS to be a limo, right?) breaks down and the only place they can find to stop is a not-gas-station-or-mechanic-but-Bayside-High.  Apparently, he is shooting a drug commercial (anti, der) at a different high school (HAS to be Valley, right?) and was on his way there when the car broke down.  Hey, you're already at a high school, why not choose Bayside instead?!  Lisa swoons because she loves him so much, and Jessie acts like the snobby class president we know and love and is like "Why don't I tell you about what else that makes Bayside great?" and then they do some stupid rap song about drugs and it sucks and Johnny's still unconvinced at the coolness of BHS when suddenly Zack brings Kelly out from volleyball practice or something and he falls in love with her INSANE camel toe and cropped jean jacket and agrees that Bayside is the school that's cool and you know that it's true (wait! Different episode.  A TORI episode.  Vom.). 

I tried really hard to find the CT picture, but I cannot Google that so this is what you get.

So they are immediately swept into the Hollywood scene and go to a hot party where Jessie is dressed like she's on her way to interview for Patrick Bateman's secretary and lo and behold, drugs abound!  Johnny doesn't think it's a big deal since it's only pot, but the high school kids do NOT think it's cool.  Except Zack, who sort of does and would totally have stayed if not for Kelly's prudish fears.  The next day (obviously) they are back at school shooting the commercial and they confront him and it is boring and then some random people who also hate drugs sit together in a room and talk about it and then at the end Brandon Tartikoff saves the day by being WAY funnier and cooler than Mr. Belding could ever imagine.

I don't know if they are trying to be funny, but it is. Sweet bomber.
Phew.  There is way more to this episode, but these are definitely the highlights.

Okay, internets, do your worst:
Johnny Dakota was an actor who chose Bayside as the site for filming his anti-drug commercial in a 1991 episode. He was played by Eddie Garcia, who was one of the stars of another NBC comedy series called Guys Next Door and was dating Tiffani-Amber Thiessen at the time (Interestingly, he fell for her character Kelly in the episode). Zack thinks this is a great idea. He sees this as a chance for stylish parties and to get close to Hollywood babes. However the gang soon found that Johnny himself was a pot user. After being shunned by the gang as a result of his dirty habit, Johnny left Bayside without filming his commercial. The gang then filmed an anti-drug PSA with the help of Brandon Tartikoff.

Note: I definitely remember the theme song to The Guys Next Door.  It went "We're the guys!  We're the guys next door, we're the guys next door, whoa-oh!"  You're welcome.  But wait, where is this Eddie Garcia now???

Um, he is a dancer.  It is weird.  He was also on The Tony Danza show in 1997.  Did you know there was a Tony Danza Show, ever?  Oh, and he was in Lambada.  The Forbidden Dance!!!

OMG and Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo!  He should have retired from the business then and there!!


  1. How did Zack know what pot smelled like, huh? HUH, ZACK?!!?!?!?!

  2. EXACTLY. I keep repeating Lisa's dramatic line in my head: "When I first met you, I couldn't talk to you. Now that I can, I don't want to."