This is what just happened, in the form of an email sent to Citizens' Bank. 

APPALLED.  That is the only word I can use right now.  I am closing on a house tomorrow, and I am not allowed to access my money because my driver's license, THE LICENSE I USED TO OPEN THE ACCOUNT, has my maiden name on it, and the account was opened in my married name.  I was made to feel embarrassed in my local branch, as if I were trying to commit some sort of FRAUD, even though they were looking at me, all of my information, verified my signature and saw multiple IDs with my married name on it.  I called the "customer help" line (rude, useless, completely unhelpful should be what you call it) and they basically said I had no options, even though this was YOUR MISTAKE when you opened my account - I have not gotten a new license so the information entered into the system is exactly the same as what I have today.  When I need my money most, I cannot use it.  I have put my trust in Citizens and they have failed me miserably.  As soon as this mess is straightened out, I am closing my account. 

Nobody go to Citizens' Bank.  Tell your friends.  No, seriously, do it.

DJ and I are running away from Citizens. Also, this is the best Full House episode of all time.

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