Breaking Down Breaking Amish

Okay, episode two was WAY better than the premiere because, well, this one was a whole lot more ridiculous.  Let's discuss, via my many, many observations and stupid questions, what happened...

• Why is Rebecca so mean?  She was snarky to Sabrina about eating, and mean about Kate.  It's not like Kate came up to her and was like "Yeah, I'm beautiful Amish and you have no teeth."  I think she is insecure.  But I still don't think it requires all the snark.  Funny snark is one thing, she just kind of bugs me.
• Why does Abe love her so much?  I wish he did not love her so much.  I want him to be swept away by some English girl who will make him cut off his long back-hair.  Note that I did not mean the hair on his  back, I mean the long hair on the back of his head.  Why is that there? 
• I loved drunk Kate and Sabrina.  That is exactly how my girlfriends and I are, down to the coverings.  That's Amish for bonnet, btw.  Pay attention!
• Rebecca's fake teeth storyline made me mad because it made me feel badly, even though really who cares if she has false teeth?  Like, better that than no teeth.  I don't think they should have made fun of her, but then Rebecca basically called her fat, so are they even?
• Going to the store was a nightmare.  Also, do they have kitchens in their hotels?  I feel like they bought meat, but maybe they were just looking at it? 
• Abe calling girls "skanks".  Heaven in a glass of unpasteurized cow's milk.
• Jeremiah only had like one funny one-liner and I expected more.  It's still early. 
• I would not want to share Rebecca's bed.
• I also missed Rebecca sharing the shunning story about her mom.  And I wasn't even drinking.  BUNK.
• Basically, this is the first season of the Real World, before it got too stupid, right?
• Kate looks like Ashlee Simpson.
• Next week!  Abe's weirdo mom busts sh!t up!  Amish Gronk Brother is nowhere to be found.

I feel like next time I have to watch this with wine.  It was really good, but it could be WAY better.