Christmas Songs (fine, just one)

So Christmas music is now my favorite thing of all time.  In theory.  Right now I am listening to Pandora Christmas, and I hate, like, every song that's playing.  Sidenote: did you know The Kinks have a Christmas album?  I randomly love The Kinks the most.  Anyway, so I am suffering through this dreck just so I can hear The Song.  The One Song.  The Only Christmas Song I Like.  Actually, it is in my top five songs of all time, ever.  That is how much I love it.  I was out once and one of the people I was with paid the DJ $100 to play it.  What is it?

Christmas Wrapping, by the Waitresses.  Complete with the worst and creepiest video of all time.  OMG.

Now, here's the thing, and let me know if you agree: It doesn't count unless you hear it on the radio, randomly.  Like, I have this song on my iPod, but I don't count it because I can manipulate my iPod to play whatever I want, whenever I want.  On the radio (regular or streaming, whatever), it could be weeks before it came on when I was in the car, and if I did catch it, it was a major victory.  This is normal, right?  Like, the correct way to do this? 

ECCH... I've been listening for like 2 hours and NOTHING.  This is horsesh!t.

What's Happenin' Hot Stuff??

I had food poisoning last night.  It was horrible.  Excuse my lack of brainpower.  I'll be back tomorrow.

Keep it clean, kiddos...

Okay, for realsies...

So.

I have a friend who I just made who is awesome and fabulous and I would like to be her.  No joke.

This is what happens when you Google "Saved by the Bell jealous". You're welcome.

And today I found out that her husband is an amazingly talented artist (artisan?  I'm not sure the exact terminology, but once you see this stuff, you will forget about me for life and want to only be friends with them.) who makes gorgeous wood pieces that I am dying over.  I want all of it - what I got I am obsessed with.  You need to see this stuff and and buy it and people will be jealous of your awesome taste. 

Because I am computer-idiot I am posting this link, but if it doesn't work or you need more information, let me know, okay?  You WON'T be sorry (say this like Janeane Garofalo in Reality Bites).

Click the link. It's better than My Sharona. Most things are.

Rain King Woods. OMG. You're welcome.

When We are Poor...

Well, not really, but with my very fabulous trip this weekend, where I did not fall asleep (seriously fall asleep, not pass out, I am boring) at 8:15 pm, and all of my Christmas shopping done, I am trying to cut back for a few weeks and enjoy the simpler (read: freer) things in life.  This weekend will be spent making Spritz cookies (finally, I've been bragging about them for 5489 years and still have yet to make them) and catching up on all of the Christmas DVR I've missed (does anyone remember The Christmas Toy?  Why do I?  I taped it last week and I totally remember it but don't remember it at all, does that make sense?  It's kind of creepy.  I will watch it again this weekend and let you know how it is.), which should be lowkey, but in addition I also went to the library today to grab some books and some music for Bink.



Husband and I.  WHY HAVEN'T YOU GUYS SEEN THIS YET!?

Now, I love the library, it is legit my favorite place in the world (EVEN moreso than the old Littlest Bar - look it up, you'll love it, too) but it drives me INSANE when this happens: a person goes up to the desk, asks for something they've placed on hold, and the person behind the desk, without fail, asks for his or her library card, and they panic and have to look for 456908 minutes to find it.  Dude.  You can't do anything at the library without first giving the librarian the library card.  TWO people in front of me did this today and I wanted to punch them in the neck.  And they didn't even owe me six hundred dollars (PLEASE tell me you get this Gap Girls reference!).

Anyway, I digress.  And to further digress, I present to you the greatest pictures of all time:

Please. Kelly and DJ were obviously the best ones, and should go bang-to-bang.

No way. The only thing they have in common is a love of bike shorts with skirts. But everyone did that, so whateva. Please.

Both annoying, both had secret boyfriends (Duckface and Gavin the environmentalist in the cut day episode) so this is about right. Also, they were both the worst ones.

So I got Bink some new music that hopefully doesn't make me want to poke my eardrums out.  Which is both painful AND makes you deafish - not Miss Simpson deaf, but I did it a few years ago and it was the worst, so I will let you know what I think, and if I like it, and if you should buy it.  Or take it out of the library for free.

It's All Right, 'Cause it's Saved by the Bell Thursday!

Good morning, class!

Good morning, Miss Simpson!

I said, good morning, class!

Okay, I KNOW this is teeny, but I felt like it was too wordy right here and needed a little something.  Yes, this is a current picture that I took of my Michael Jackson Barbie and Heart Family Dad that I still own. 

Oh, yes, friends... it's that time... you know it's that time... (please tell me you are familiar with Lavonne and Barry Sagittarius from The State - either that or their $240 worth o'puddin... PLEASE?!)

Saved by the Bell Thursday!!  And today our totally terrific tertiary toots (what up thesaurus.com!) is our sweet little deaf teacher with a hankerin' for love stories, skateboarding and a bad back.  Here is what I remember:

Miss Simpson was randomly British and LOVED Shakespeare and totes deaf.  And when Kelly dropped Zack for Jeff the hot college man with the wandering eye, Miss Simpson TOTALLY burned them both by having them act out Romeo and Juliet on top of her desk. 

Oh, and in one episode she gets a hearing aid, but it's too hilariously sensitive and then she pulls it out! 

Please read the nonsense on the blackboard. What IS that?!

Okay, Interwebs, gimme whatcha got!

Mrs. Simpson was the nearly-deaf, British-accented teacher who taught English class. She also appeared at the beginning of junior year and embarrassed Kelly and Zack by referring to them as “Bayside’s Most Beloved Couple” just a short while after they broke up. She said she didn't like Zack, and once wore a hearing aid that she discarded because the titular bell caused painful sound waves to assault her. She also made an appearance in the pilot episode of The New Class. She was played by Pamela Kosh.

Titular.  Moving on.

Who is this Pamela Kosh?  Obviously I was right about everything, but who is the real woman??

Okay, so she starred in exactly one episode of every show ever, much like our dear friend Craig Strand aka I can't remember his real name, but she was in So Little Time (I don't care I loooooved this show - Olsen Twins for life!!) and Kirk.  Okay, let's talk about Kirk for a second.  Because I've never heard of this show before, and neither has my best friend, who works in TV now and whose coworker WORKED on this show and has a mug that says "Kirk, Season One" that we all want for ourselves and now this show has come up twice in three days.  Coincidence???  I don't know.  Probably not.

DJ's Brother.

Also, does anyone else feel funnier when they are full and caffeinated?  I had a latte this morning, but just housed a Kashi bar and a FULL FAT COKE (blaspheme!) and now I feel like a hundred bucks.

BACK

OMG, this wedding was not to be believed.  When I have some pictures where I have skinny arm, I will show you.  Highlights:
1. Jack in the Box.  HEAVEN.
2. Chili's - the only acceptable place to go for lunch when you are 50 miles from the Mexican border, right?
3. Wine, wine and more wine.
4. Getting one's hair and makeup done does wonders for the psyche.
5. It was colder in California than it was in New England this weekend.  I felt smug.  Not sure why.

Also, don't EVER fly American.  It is beyond terrible.  It had the best time for us to fly, but was such a disaster it would have been worth it to take a later flight or pay more.  SICK.

Also, who is ready to celebrate?  Husband got a new job!  Hooooooooooray!!

Also, Bink is starting to "talk".  Being 13 months old, this is not terribly surprising, but it IS terribly cute.  Here is what she is saying:
1. Dad
2. Hi
3. Bye
4. Tick tock
5. Good girl

It is the cutest ever.  I'll try to film it for you.

And I know I said "also" four times, but it was necessary.

Some good books...

Anyone?  I'm currently obsessed with Francoise Sagan (live it, love it, I'm telling you), but I feel like I keep picking duds out at the library.  No, I don't mean picking out cool outfits, I mean I keep accidentally getting boring books about deep water diving or other things I don't understand/care about.

Thoughts?

Something like this, really, but that I haven't already read...

I'm actually not opposed to re-reading these, but they only take like 20 minutes to get through. Also, do NOT read Sweet Valley Confidential. It is NOT what you want to have happened happen.