It's All Right, 'Cause it's Saved by the Bell Thursday!

So I could not be busier at work.  Literally, this is the craziest time of year.  As such, I am totally going craaaazy and needed a moment to vent.  Sigh.  Okay.  Also, someone searched "Saved by the Bell pep talks" to get to me.  I will stop doing this now, but I find these totally hilarious and it's my civic duty to share them with you, right?  Right.

OMG WHERE IS MY WINE?

Oh, right, at home.  Because I am at my office.  I digress.

CRAP.  More stuff to do.  I'll be back later.  Probably drunk yournaling.  It's like yogging, it's going to be huge. 

Whoever gets that reference gets ten points and the chance to babysit this for free:

OMGOMGOMGOMGOGMGOMG Geekburger with Cheese

Okay.

Okay.

So you know how on blogger you can see how people came across your site?  And how you check it all the time to see if anyone else is interested in the same things you are?  Like "Saved by the Bell Thursday"?  You know?  Well, prior to five minutes ago, all of the traffic has been "Bink's Mom" or something boring like that.  Until.

Until.

"DJ Tanner outfits"

Now THAT is a DJ Tanner outfit.

Someone searched "DJ Tanner outfits" and found me.  First of all, someone searched that, which is awesome unto itself, but then came here.

Whoever you are, dear friend, please reveal yourself.  We can be secret girlfriends like Stephanie and Duckface!

"You can be my 'everyone-knows-about-you' friend. Just stop making that stupid face."

Weird Al

He is the NICEST, COOLEST, best guy ever.  I was officially too scared to talk to Chris Elliot, but he was very nice to the people around him while I hid in the corner and was itchy.  Does anyone else get itchy when they are nervous?  Just me?  Cool... well... see ya!

(Note: when I studied in London in college, there was a lot of Charmed on TV.  Remember Charmed?  Anyway, there is this one episode where I swear this dialogue takes place:

Alyssa Milano and some random are standing outside by a truck, talking.  Shannen Doherty pops her mismatched eyes as if from nowhere....

SD: Hey, I'm going to get some gum, you guys want anything?
AM: No.
SD: Cool, well... see ya!

It had nothing to do with anything and it was awesome and I say it all the time.  Go on with the chlorophyll.)

So for reals, yo, Weird Al.  He's legit.  He's awesome.  And tall!  Who knew? 

And I'm sick.

Stay away.  I'm on a mission to expel the fluish/coldish/ebolaish virus from my person by 4 AM on Friday.  Any suggestions?  I've got Emergen-C, Theraflu, Ricola, and those fancy Puffs with Vicks (so as to remain picture perfect - vom).  I HAVE to be better by Friday, there is no other option.  Also, I have to work today and tomorrow and am really busy.

Okay, go.  I will leave you with this, so you take pity on me.  If I were a kitten, this is EXACTLY what I would look like right now.

I just want to feel better... can't you help me? (say this in adorable sad kitten voice)

BLARGH

I had BETTER not be getting sick.

Here's the reason.

Well aside from the fact that nobody except Phoebe Buffay (that can't be spelled right) wants to have any sort of ear/nose/throat ailment (PLEASE tell me you get this reference), I have a big weekend coming up.

I will be visiting the "other coast" to celebrate a certain fabulous bestie's fabulous descent into wedded bliss at the most fabulous bachelorette weekend ever.  Seriously, it's going to be amazing.  Not to give too many details, but Weird Al Yankovic and I are probably going to fall in love and get married.  And more importantly, Chris Elliott and I are going to finally reconcile if there actually IS anything funnier than a fat-ass, floating cupcake, even one that spits tobacco.  Need I explain?

I bet right about now you're wondering... why you are reading this post.

So growing up, among my favorite movies was, of course, Cabin Boy.  And one of my favorite movies currently is, of course, Cabin Boy.  My other bestie (WHAT, I am not ashamed to talk about my friends this way, like we are in third grade, so eat it, Urkel) will be picking me up and through a series of very random circumstances, it is likely I will be in close proximity to the one and only Nathaniel Mayweather.  Through another set of very random circumstances, I have an autographed copy of Cabin Boy (signed by Chris Elliott, although Andy Richter would have been equally awesome).  Now the question is: do I bring this DVD with me on my trip to get him to re-autograph it?

No, that would be silly!!

But don't think I didn't think of it for a minute.

Say what?? So it's NOT cool to act like a jerk in front of a random man you don't know, famous or otherwise? Blaspheme!

Anywho, if I get sick, and miss my opportunity to fully appreciate these two icons of manliness and have my picture taken with them multiple times without crazy red nose or other snot-related issue, there will be hell to pay.

Don't think you are alternative and cool by saying this is a good show. It isn't. Except for the theme song, which is the best REM song ever of all the REM bubblegummy pop songs. There are a lot of those, right?

Like, I'll make you watch "Get A Life".  WARNING.  Do NOT go on Netflix or whatever and think it will be so cool and fun to revisit this sitcom, because you will be disappointed.  I did it, and I cried afterward.  It sucks.  So don't pretend it's cool and that you love it, because I'll know you haven't actually watched it since you were eight, when let's be honest, you thought Skidz were cool.  You have been warned.

Late to the party... again.

Often, I discover things WAY after they stop being cool.  One example: Justin Beiber.  I didn't REALIZE that "Baby" was the most awesome song ever until, like, August of this year.  It was worth the wait, as it is an awesome song, you should listen to it, this kid has what it takes, I think.  Oh, and have you heard of Pinterest?  I invented that, too.  I never watch the good shows until they are in syndication and then I pretend I invented them and, well, what I am about to share is no exception.

The Alchemist, by Paulo Coehlo.

Probably, like, ALL of you have read it, but I am reading it now and it is changing my life.  It has made me see that my true passion is blogging about current events, like my new favorite jeans (Levi's 505s are perfect for moms who have not lost their fatback yet), and despite the fact that my mom is my only follower, I like doing it, it makes me nicer to Husband, Bink and my friends and family, and basically is a nice way to unload about what's bugging me, why Saved by the Bell is awesome, and why it's unfair that I can't drink wine at work.  It helps me reach my dream.  Which is, of course, playing with Bink and wearing yoga pants all day, writing, and pounding grape while watching One Tree Hill reruns. 

Legit, Busy Phillips has been in all of the best shows ever made: Freaks and Geeks, Dawson and Cougartown. Why aren't we best friends?

Also, when is Cougartown coming back? 

Anyway, so eventually, I know I will be able to live out this dream.  After all, the universe is conspiring it to happen.  Read the book.

Hungry

Um, why didn't anyone tell me that only eating healthy food would cause starvation?  Because it DOES.  I talked about my Incentive Pants a while ago and wow, they still don't fit!  Ergo, it is time to take matters into my chubby, dimpled hands and start thinking like an Olsen twin.  Well, not REALLY, but, you know, really.  So I decided to forgo the yuck food yesterday and only eat healthy food (EXCEPT for the cookies last night, but honestly, it's not like a have to wear a bathing suit in front of my friends at Kathy Santoni's pool party, so I'm not going to that extreme) and I don't care what you say, I have diminished to waiflike proportions and cannot concentrate on anything but chili cheese fries from either Jack in the Box OR Texas Roadhouse.  I'm not picky.

Couple this with the fact that poor Bink has like 5849 little pointy toothlets poking out of her gums and is therefore not sleeping, I am a MESS.  I don't even know what pants I'm wearing today.  Am I wearing pants?  The world may never know...

Here is a picture that is awesome and funny.

Holla.

Night, night... wait, it's 10:30 in the morning?  CRAP.