Most of the time, like I'm sure most of you do, I forget that I'm not 23 - I feel like that is the age you can sort of get away with being immature and a doof with minimal consequence. Anyway, I'm constantly admonishing myself for wanting and liking things I'm way too old for, or giving myself the business for not liking things anymore because I think I'm too old and I shouldn't be. Here's this week's list:
Cheez Whiz. This was a true heartbreaker. A couple of months ago I had the house to myself for five minutes, so I did what any normal American would do: I went straight to the grocery store and bought a bag of frozen french fries and a jar of Cheez Whiz. And I made cheez fries. And I took one bite. And I gagged and shuddered and spit it out. Guys. I don't know what we were thinking. Cheez Whiz is literally the most disgusting thing in the world since block cream cheese. This may not seem as big of a deal to you, but believe me, I existed on cheeze goo and French fries for the better part of my life, so hating it now is wrong on so many levels. You know what else you remember is delicious but is actually totally disgusting? Space Ice Cream. Trust. It's like a bag of old dusty dentures. Except grosser.
Full House reruns. Am I too old for this? I think "no" but whenever I am watching it my husband comes in and gives me a weird face and then walks out. Maybe it's because it's hilarious and as such, I laugh aloud often, but I'm telling you, it's WAY funnier than you remember. Try it, you'll like it. Or in the immortal words of Uncle Jesse "Haaaaaave merrrrrcaaaaaaaay!"
(You are totally laughing to yourself right now. Busted!)
Cosmopolitan Magazine. I am WAY too old to read Cosmo anymore. I get a subscription (free, don't ask) but last month, I didn't even know who the girl on the cover was! She was, like, some 20-year-old and I didn't even open it, I just threw it out because it was time to give it up. I have no use for Cosmo anymore and while it makes me sad in theory, I never reeeeeallly loved it anyway (I despise that they end the magazine with the Cosmo quiz, it is boring and dumb) so I'm not totally torn up about it.
Aside: I am obsessed with Redbook. I don't care. I love it the MOST and want to be the editor and be friends with all the girls they put on the covers. Maybe they'd let me talk about sweatpants? I actually opened it and was like "when did they get so hip?" Or am I just getting old? Anyway, Redbook rules.
Wifebeaters as shirts. And probably cutoffs. Just give it up, woman. Just give it up.
What are you way too old for but secretly love?
Aren't we the same age? Because I'm currently wearing a wife beater and eating cheese fries while FULL HOUSE plays in the background, so....I guess I should be embarrassed? But I'm not. Uncle Jesse 4 lyfe!!!!
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If this is true, I am coming on the next plane and never leaving. That sounds awesome and if you look GOOD in wifebeaters you should wear them proudly. You do. Have you seen the new Oikos commercial??? Hysterical.
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