I'll Never Buy Wine at Trader's Again... My Fault, NOT Theirs

Ah, a topic everyone can relate to - wine. I'm drunk as we speak! Kidding. I mean, I'm drinking, but I won't get drunk for a while. Actually, I've felt drunk all week even though I've only been drunk part of the week. Anyway, Bink was at preschool and of course I did what any red-blooded American would do - went straight to Trader Joe's for peanut butter crackers and wine.

I had Baby Boy in the big part of the carriage in his car seat, so that pretty severely limited the space I had to put my impending purchases (you know where this is going, don't you?). I made do, buying the crackers I needed and the 49580 things I didn't, but cannot pass up because it's Trader Joe's, where holding back is impossible, and then made my way to the wine section.

I have been buying slightly nicer wine since Baby Boy was born since I get up with him and if I drink junky wine, I get a hangover really easily, and I have found one that I looooooooove and want to marry and have ten thousand of its babies. It's called The Stump Jump and it is so good. It's a shiraz, and if you want something that costs like ten bucks and is awesome, I highly recommend it. But I always like to try new things, so I went around, picking out a few bottles that I haven't tried yet, and then went over to The Stump Jump.

And all of the wine and hummus and cheese and crackers and everything else I picked up fell out of the cart and smashed into a bajillion pieces.


And it was so loud and there was glass EVERYWHERE and red wine and hummus all over the place (the hummus containers totally busted open and it was disgusting) and it legit looked like a crime scene. And while I do fancy myself a bit of a Rizzoli or Isles, I was moooooortified.

And then the swarm came in.

The swarm of super nice TJ employees who told me not to worry about it, to keep shopping and they would go get me replacements of all of the things that I broke, to stay with the baby (who was still sleeping, thank goodness, if he had started crying I think I would have lost it) and not to worry, it happens all the time and nobody cares.

So of course I did what anyone else would do. I hid. And my face was burning hot and my cart was, like, empty, and I didn't know what to do. And then the super nice TJ's employee who was tasked with replacing my broken items FOUND me and was like "oh, there you are! Here are your millions of random grocery items!" He was SO nice and I was then of course even more embarrassed because I was, like, crouched in a corner when he approached me.

I thanked him, probably cried a little because I'm a baby, and ran to the register.

And could not get my Stump Jump because CSU was still processing the scene RIGHT in front of that part of the display. So I got some other stuff, but it's not the same. And I can never show my face at Trader's again until the next time I go.

Moral of the story: Trader Joe's is fabulous. I am a moron. And peanut butter crackers are awesome.


  1. Oh nooooooooo!

    But don't worry. Put on a hat and go back for your Stump Jump.

  2. Once at TJs, Torin was in the seat of the cart and I was letting Keagan push it. I went to read a label on something and suddenly there was a huge crash because Keagan had put his feet up on the cart and was holding on with his arms and he flipped it over, pinning Torin's legs underneath. I managed not to scream bloody murder at him as super nice TJs folks assisted in.righting the cart, and fled the scene before givig anyone further reason to call DSS on me. Crap happens. No one will remember it was you next time you go.

  3. I had a similar experience at the grocery store when M was young. It involved said screaming infant, an opened pacifier package just to quell the noise and salad dressing all over my flip-flopped feet. I smelled like italian dressing for days.

  4. The only legit reason to cry about this, is because of all the wasted wine. Soooooooo sad. :o(

  5. I cannot keep up with your blogs! So many, all at once! Ahhhhhh!

    This is really embarrassing, but I would agree with Minxy that the saddest part is the wasted wine. I'm sure that your emotions were heightened by the lack of sleep, though, so I don't blame you for being upset. I hope you get to sleep soon. I'm exhausted for you. :(

  6. Absolutely the wine issue is by far the worst. And I STILL don't have my favorite flavor, all the other ones I bought were definitely subpar. xoxoxoxxo