I don't sleep anymore because I have two babies. It's like I'm drunk most of the time. But for free.
I would like to be a writer. I have many awesome ideas for awesome books that would sell 54890 copies and I would be a rich girl who walked around the neighborhood (any neighborhood will do), throwing money in the air like the Monopoly Man (complete with top hat, mustache and walking stick, swoon), but here's the thing: I work. And I have a nine-month old. So I spend all day working and then all night making sure my little Bink is cared for, fed, and caught up on all seasons of Gossip Girl. It doesn't leave much time for my dream lifestyle, so I guess this will have to do.
See how I am trying to make it seem like I have to do this? Like you MADE me do it? Suckas.
Anyway, I named this post "A New Start" because back when I was young and stupid and thought I was going to be a Martha Stewart Mom (MSM) who was going to lovingly update friends and family about the goings-on in Bink's life, I signed up for Blogger and actually wrote, like, two very nice, very lame posts and the quit because, well, it was lame, and I was too busy crying. Post-partum depression is a BITCH. But do you know what is awesome? Italicizing! It's the Jazzercizing of the Internet generation. Sorry. So, yeah, I abandoned that project because it sucked and really sort of forgot about it.
Now, now that my Bink is a woman, enjoying highballs and cigarettes in those long cigarette-holder-things, I decided that, well, a few brain cells are functioning again despite the fact that SHE NEVER SLEEPS (I'm not bitter, I swear!) and it's time to start using them, so I deleted those and pretended that this was my first post. But then I just wrote about it... crap. Whatever. And yes, I'm going to start using my brain again.
Ha, I use the term "using" very loosely. I am a mom who won't let her kid watch kid's shows because said kid is too engrossed by them, but keeps crime shows on 24 hours a day. What?! If she is in a situation, I want her to know how to defend herself! This is what I tell my husband, and since I did once thwart a mugging (a story for another day), and because I'm legit he believes me. But I do love Bink to a creepy, creepy degree. And that's why I want her to be the well-rounded, athletic, funny, sweet, carefree girl that I never was. I was funny, of course (of course!), and way too smart for any guy to want to make out with me, but I was not "that girl". Really, I believe it was because I was born with brown eyes, not green like my Dad's, but here's the thing: BINK HAS GREEN EYES LIKE MY DAD! That's how I KNOW she'll be the girl I always wanted to be, I just have to steer her in the right direction.
Wait, where was I going with this? Who cares, I've already started thinking about something else. So yeah, I started a blog. I don't know if I'm going to tell anyone about it yet.