I like pajamas now. I buy fancy jams for 80% off at 6pm.com (the best-kept secret in Internet shopping) and am probably a pee-filled jar away from Howard Hughes-ness, but whatever. During the day, I struggle a bit. I'm not a workout girl, but of course enjoy workout clothes. Everything gets spit-up on it, so anything non-sweats has to be washable and not-requiring an iron, because I am a terrible ironer.
So, what do you wear?
This frozen weather has been a bit prohibitive, but normally I like jeans, a boatneck shirt and ballet flats.
What are your favorite jeans? I like Gap legging, they hide the baby backfat issue and are comfortable.
What are your favorite ballet flats? These are a staple, but I din't have any that I love. I've got some Tory Burch Revas that I scored on major sale a while back, but they're a little narrow. I don't mind spending more on shoes because I tend to wear the same pair to death, but I don't know which are the best. Thoughts?
And finally, boatnecks. I can never find ones that are long enough. I'm tall, but mostly torso (I know, weird!) so shirts are always short on me.
Okay, let me know what you think. And I'll let you borrow one of my 2,008 robes.
2/25/14
Here's Why We Can't be Friends - an Open Letter to THOSE Moms
Okay, so having two kids is fun, but I'm toasted. Therefore, we need to talk.
Not about how my turkey son is a junk sleeper. Not about how my turkey daughter refuses to play on a playground. But about how freaking UPPITY all of these parents I've been meeting lately are.
Cue "Why Can't We be Friends?" and then let's all drink beer and watch Dazed and Confused.
No, seriously. Here's why we can't be friends.
Everyone I have been meeting lately (when you stay home, you are forced by proximity to meet a lot of new people - like at the playground, library, booze section of Trader Joe's) has had an OPINION. You know what I mean? Like, "Oh, I would NEVER feed my kids (insert food kids eat here)." Or, "Oh, I have no idea who Dora is, we don't watch TV."
First of all, liar. If you don't know who Dora is, you are dumb. Everyone knows who Dora is. And if you don't feed your kids grilled cheese, chicken nuggets and french fries, guess what. That's great. But I'm not a lesser parent because I do. So shut your trap.
I am all for everyone raising their kids differently - how are you supposed to learn new ways of tricking your kids into doing what you want? But, barring abuse, neglect, etc., everyone is doing their best so back off. Nobody needs to hear from a stranger, or someone who doesn't have your specific kid, what they think you should be doing.
I love this blog: www.modgblog.com, and the girl who writes it wants to stop because idiots are being, well, idiots and making her feel badly. I think that sucks. She's parenting the way she feels is right and people are giving her crap? It's not anyone's place to be judgmental anywhere, ever.
And why is it that the junkiest, meanest moms are also always the ugliest ones in mom jeans? There HAS to be a connection, don't you think?
Anyway, that's what's been on my mind lately and I wanted to see if I was the only one who felt this way. Eat organic. Don't. Bring your kids into your bed. Don't. Who cares? Just make happy, nice kids.
And if you can figure out how to get a baby to sleep 12 hours straight, I promise I won't talk about you behind your back anymore. Promise!
Not about how my turkey son is a junk sleeper. Not about how my turkey daughter refuses to play on a playground. But about how freaking UPPITY all of these parents I've been meeting lately are.
Cue "Why Can't We be Friends?" and then let's all drink beer and watch Dazed and Confused.
No, seriously. Here's why we can't be friends.
Everyone I have been meeting lately (when you stay home, you are forced by proximity to meet a lot of new people - like at the playground, library, booze section of Trader Joe's) has had an OPINION. You know what I mean? Like, "Oh, I would NEVER feed my kids (insert food kids eat here)." Or, "Oh, I have no idea who Dora is, we don't watch TV."
First of all, liar. If you don't know who Dora is, you are dumb. Everyone knows who Dora is. And if you don't feed your kids grilled cheese, chicken nuggets and french fries, guess what. That's great. But I'm not a lesser parent because I do. So shut your trap.
I am all for everyone raising their kids differently - how are you supposed to learn new ways of tricking your kids into doing what you want? But, barring abuse, neglect, etc., everyone is doing their best so back off. Nobody needs to hear from a stranger, or someone who doesn't have your specific kid, what they think you should be doing.
I love this blog: www.modgblog.com, and the girl who writes it wants to stop because idiots are being, well, idiots and making her feel badly. I think that sucks. She's parenting the way she feels is right and people are giving her crap? It's not anyone's place to be judgmental anywhere, ever.
And why is it that the junkiest, meanest moms are also always the ugliest ones in mom jeans? There HAS to be a connection, don't you think?
Anyway, that's what's been on my mind lately and I wanted to see if I was the only one who felt this way. Eat organic. Don't. Bring your kids into your bed. Don't. Who cares? Just make happy, nice kids.
And if you can figure out how to get a baby to sleep 12 hours straight, I promise I won't talk about you behind your back anymore. Promise!
1/2/14
The Sims
Okay, so I was opening up Microsoft Word and in my search, I noticed that I have "The Sims 3" on my computer. This is a bad scene.
When I was younger, my roommate and I would get drunk and play Sims for hours, and it was the best thing ever (read: totally dumb and sad, but come on!). Now, I have an actual life that resembles The Sims in its' mundane nature, with no time to actually play, so I really shouldn't have any desire to play, right?
RIGHT?
Dude. It's killing me. It's ALL I want to do.
I love The Sims.
When I was younger, my roommate and I would get drunk and play Sims for hours, and it was the best thing ever (read: totally dumb and sad, but come on!). Now, I have an actual life that resembles The Sims in its' mundane nature, with no time to actually play, so I really shouldn't have any desire to play, right?
RIGHT?
Dude. It's killing me. It's ALL I want to do.
I love The Sims.
10/23/13
New Phase...
Good morning!
Okay, here's the deal. I am not going back to work. My awesome boss knows, it was a very sad meeting, but I am really excited for this new step.
However.
Um, two kids? BRUTAL. Maybe it's because Husband leaves the house by six a.m. and does not return until at least nine or 10 (is that correct? Or is that opposite? No, it's opposite. I fixed it, but know that I used the numbers for six and nine and spelled out 10. But can you mix them like that in one sentence? Advise). He's working a TON, which is obviously a big sacrifice and I really appreciate it, but dude. It is intense. There are literally no breaks. By six o'clock I am literally fried. I look like one of those cats on those dumb book order posters that say "Hang in there!" except uglier.
I love my kids, obviously, and I feel lucky to be able to spend this time with them because it is not something a lot of people are able to do. Though you know what I hate? How people always frame this situation as a choice and one option is better than another. Being a parent is hard, period. It's a huge sacrifice, working or not. Everyone's on the same team - the team where we hide from our kids because they are life-sucking leeches who are out to destroy us. Well, except that it's hardest for me and nobody knows my plight or pain. Kidding. But it bugs me. Parents who stay home do not have it easy. Parents who work do not have it easy. Why can't we just leave it at that?
ANYWAY.
Back before I had kids, I used to write a little bit, and it was fun because people Googled me. What? Maybe I could write a little bit again, while I'm hiding from my kids. But is there a paper for New England moms who are super hilarious and enjoy 80s teen sitcoms, talking about outfits and not knowing any current events? I think it would be really good, don't you? I'd read it.
What was that? Sorry, I was busy yelling at Bink about watching another Dora the Explorer. Spoiler alert: I let her. Yay!
Okay, here's the deal. I am not going back to work. My awesome boss knows, it was a very sad meeting, but I am really excited for this new step.
However.
Um, two kids? BRUTAL. Maybe it's because Husband leaves the house by six a.m. and does not return until at least nine or 10 (is that correct? Or is that opposite? No, it's opposite. I fixed it, but know that I used the numbers for six and nine and spelled out 10. But can you mix them like that in one sentence? Advise). He's working a TON, which is obviously a big sacrifice and I really appreciate it, but dude. It is intense. There are literally no breaks. By six o'clock I am literally fried. I look like one of those cats on those dumb book order posters that say "Hang in there!" except uglier.
I love my kids, obviously, and I feel lucky to be able to spend this time with them because it is not something a lot of people are able to do. Though you know what I hate? How people always frame this situation as a choice and one option is better than another. Being a parent is hard, period. It's a huge sacrifice, working or not. Everyone's on the same team - the team where we hide from our kids because they are life-sucking leeches who are out to destroy us. Well, except that it's hardest for me and nobody knows my plight or pain. Kidding. But it bugs me. Parents who stay home do not have it easy. Parents who work do not have it easy. Why can't we just leave it at that?
ANYWAY.
Back before I had kids, I used to write a little bit, and it was fun because people Googled me. What? Maybe I could write a little bit again, while I'm hiding from my kids. But is there a paper for New England moms who are super hilarious and enjoy 80s teen sitcoms, talking about outfits and not knowing any current events? I think it would be really good, don't you? I'd read it.
What was that? Sorry, I was busy yelling at Bink about watching another Dora the Explorer. Spoiler alert: I let her. Yay!
9/30/13
Reasons Why I Can't Work Out.
When I am feeding the baby at 3 am, I'm like "I should totally work out tomorrow." And then it's 6 am and I'm like "Oh, TV." So there goes that. Except we DON'T watch much TV, which is heartbreaking, but what can you do? Anyway, there are many other reasons why it is impossible for me to work out. Here is a sampling:
I have a two year old and a newborn. I'm too tired to work out.
I was sick when I was pregnant two months ago, so I'm still recovering from that.
I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm not wearing a bra, and I spent the whole day running errands. I'm too embarrassed to work out.
Spanx were invented for a reason; if I don't use them, they'll go out of business. It's really for the Spanx employees.
My kid has croup. I need to sit next to her and watch Peppa Pig. No time to work out.
Also, my kid has croup. Can we discuss? If we do, there will definitely be no time to work out.
And here is the biggie, the one that always tips the scales to laziness:
I. Don't. Wanna.
So when I cry at 4 p.m., about to leave for a 6 p.m. wedding and the dress I bought doesn't fit around my butt, I have nobody to blame but myself. Or EVERYTHING ELSE, see above.
I have a two year old and a newborn. I'm too tired to work out.
I was sick when I was pregnant two months ago, so I'm still recovering from that.
I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm not wearing a bra, and I spent the whole day running errands. I'm too embarrassed to work out.
Spanx were invented for a reason; if I don't use them, they'll go out of business. It's really for the Spanx employees.
My kid has croup. I need to sit next to her and watch Peppa Pig. No time to work out.
Also, my kid has croup. Can we discuss? If we do, there will definitely be no time to work out.
And here is the biggie, the one that always tips the scales to laziness:
I. Don't. Wanna.
So when I cry at 4 p.m., about to leave for a 6 p.m. wedding and the dress I bought doesn't fit around my butt, I have nobody to blame but myself. Or EVERYTHING ELSE, see above.
9/27/13
Baby's here. But, really...
So I had the baby. He is the cutest ever and I am obsessed with him. It's pretty sick, but it can neither be helped nor stopped. Bink LOOOVES him, which is also awesome. But honestly, that's not why I am writing today.
I want Instagram.
No, I do not own a Smartphone. And apparently you can't do it on the computer. But I honestly feel like my life would improve drastically if I had it. I would do so many cool things and activities. People I barely talk to could see what I had for dinner! I desire it, I crave it, and nobody will get it for me.
Granted, I could go to the store (AT&T? I think I have that. Can you still have that one?) and upgrade my plan from when I got my first cell phone at age 23, but come o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-nnnnnnnn-ah. I don't wanna go, I hate the cell phone store! Someone just do it for me, right? Alas, that has yet to be the case, so my life will continue to be terrible. Or something.
Also, do you know what Snapchat is? Any why it was invented???? SICK!
I want Instagram.
No, I do not own a Smartphone. And apparently you can't do it on the computer. But I honestly feel like my life would improve drastically if I had it. I would do so many cool things and activities. People I barely talk to could see what I had for dinner! I desire it, I crave it, and nobody will get it for me.
Granted, I could go to the store (AT&T? I think I have that. Can you still have that one?) and upgrade my plan from when I got my first cell phone at age 23, but come o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-nnnnnnnn-ah. I don't wanna go, I hate the cell phone store! Someone just do it for me, right? Alas, that has yet to be the case, so my life will continue to be terrible. Or something.
Also, do you know what Snapchat is? Any why it was invented???? SICK!
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