Why I Haven't Left the House in Months. Or: why I had to delete Loving Leah on the Hallmark Channel from my DVR.

Absence, schmabsence.  Let me tell you, I have been HERE.

Well, not here writing because I leave every thought I have in whatever receptacle is handy at the moment, and it isn't pretty.

Preg again.  This time, with a boy. Now, with my girl I was the sickest on the planet.  Everyday, all day, for 34 straight weeks.  Now, 21 weeks in, I have been sick for 15 straight weeks and it is WORSE.  How?  Well, in addition to the constant nausea and vomiting, I have every single other symptom that has ever been recorded by a pregnant person.  I've done the Kate Middleton dehydration thing a few times, but it doesn't work OR give me nice hair.  Sidenote: she is TOTALLY having a girl.  You can tell from her face.  Kim Kardashian is having a boy, which you can tell because her face isn't getting bigger.  Anyway, I spend my life either in my bed or at my office.  It is the pits. 

So why would I think of logging on again?  Because I see no one, I talk to no one, I do nothing except feel guiilty about not being there for Bink, because I'm not, and watch the Hallmark Channel and it's getting sad-ish.  ISH!  Listen, the Hallmark Channel is good because it shows movies that COULD REALLY HAPPEN.  I mean, of course The Babysitter's Seduction on Lifetime is extremely plausible, because why wouldn't Felicity have an affair with the dad from Seventh Heaven?  Hubba, hubba.  I digress.  Hallmark Channel movies are extra, extra sappy and that's just where I am right now.  Case in point: Loving Leah.  WHO has seen this?  Probably nobody except my mom, who I forced to tape it, because for about three solid weeks, I watched it daily and sobbed.  Finally I had to delete it because it was interfering with my emotional health, but if you get the chance, watch it.  There are so many sage pieces of wisdom.  For example, when Leah's mother tells her "a mother is only as happy as her saddest child" I had to pause it and cry for 2 hours.  Because it's TRUE.  Also, Leah is played by that redheaded girl in "Can't Hardly Wait" and remember when that came out?  It was SO long ago! 

So let's see if we can get back into this.  Also, where can I buy many, many teeny sailor suits?

Obviously I am a copier...

Now that TB is back, I felt inspired to get back, too.  Isn't it funny how you can kind of forget about something for, like, ever, and then no big deal, just go back and nothing has changed?

Nothing has really changed.  Oh, except I'm watching Felicity now on Netflix, and it is both better and worse than what I remembered.  Like, sometimes I think she is so annoying, and everyone is stupid, and I know I didn't think that when watching it in the 90s, but like, seriously, Julie?  She is the WORST.  And Ben is SO hot.  I remember always being a Noel fan, but that was stupid. Ben is where it's at.  I'm in their junior year, and don't remember how it ends at all, but I assume it will be unsatisfying.  Nothing tops the finale of Dawson's Creek, everything else PALES in comparison.

Also, did they ever say what was in Meghan's box?  I don't think they did.

ALSO, there is a LOT of Felicity fanfiction out there.  Terrifying.  But completely hilarious.

Maybe my New Year's Resolution could be to get a life?  Hmm...

Halloween Hipsters

There are people in my office today wearing costumes pretending they hate to be wearing a costume.  Do you know what I mean?  Like, either wear a costume and own it, or don't wear one.  Obvi.

So tonight is my first night in a real house with real trick-or-treaters.  Do you think they will be mad that I am giving out Mary Jane's and Bullseyes?

KIDDING.  Those are the worst candies ever after Circus Peanuts.  Yuck.  I am giving out awesome candy, of course, with a non-chocolate option for the allergic kids.  It will be a little hectic, as Bink and I are flying solo (working Husband) so I am going to take her around and then hand out candy.  Ambitious, I know, but I was treasurer of the German Club in high school, so we should be good.

Also, during the Sandy storm, I watched the episode where Joey gives it up to Pacey three times in a row.  That is all.

I KNEW there was something else!

Two things.  Okay.  So this has been kind of a weird week.  Yesterday, to make myself feel better, I got a bagel at my favorite bagel place by my office.  Now, the bagel kid and I are good friends.  In "that" way.  Not really, I mean, we've never made out or anything, but he does give me extra pickles when I order sandwiches from there (they do breakfast AND lunch, heaven), so that is basically the same thing, or a further base.  So I order my bagel, and while he is toasting it, he flips on his beatbox, and BLASTS the song "Ass & Titties", from like 20 years ago.  This is a song that everyone knows and is obsessed with, but like, you don't ever hear it on the radio.  It's just something that gets passed along, like when Andrea and Steve went to exchange the egg on that 90210 episode where Emily Valentine drugs Brandon so they could do it?  Or he would dance?  I forget.  And don't care.

Anyway, he turns it up all the way, and I am dying laughing because it is so ridiculous, and the owner comes running out from the back and is like "TURN THAT DOWN!" because it is FILTHY, and the kid, not joking, says "I can't help that I'm a gangsta."  Like, there was no way he could have prevented the incident.  And he toasted my bagel extra dark, which is just how I like my bagels and men.  Um, what?  Anyway, it was the best thing ever and I wasn't sad anymore.

For your viewing pleasure.  I didn't watch this, so I really hope it isn't super dirty:

My Rhino-Trophy-Head brings all the boys to the yard...

I was going to take the plunge and buy it today - but it is sold out!!  I'm so sad.  I totally know one of you bought it - show yourself!  Or don't.  However, One King's Lane has "The Winter Lodge" sale today, which is of course rife with trophy heads.  Ideally, I'd like a real one (and nobody give me any of that "hunting is murder" crap, I'm guessing you've never done it, and if you truly did, you would know that it isn't like that), but I feel like a fakey will do fine in the interim.

Anyway, onto other important things.  Like how I made a total garbage salad today (everything fresh in the fridge went in here) and it's not pretty.  Actually, it stinks (not literally, it just doesn't taste good) and I almost want to call Husband to warn him to go get a good salad - or whatever he wants, because this one will ruin his day.  It has already ruined mine... dah duuuuuuh....

So, now that I've forgiven you for totally copying me and stealing my rhinocerous head (I would have named him Timothy, HOW could you have done that to Timothy??  Kidding.  I wouldn't have named him.  I would have let Bink do it, because she insists everything has a name, and it can't be a cop-out name, like "apple-y", it has to be a legit name and you have to remember what it is or else she will destroy you.), let's discuss important things.  Um... like...

I'll have to get back to you. :)

Decorating and Netflix

So now I am suburb-y, which means I am even lazier than I used to be, because I now only leave my town for work (dumb) - everything else is basically here.  I love suburbs!  I also love not living next door to a drug den, but that's another story.  Anyway, all I do is chase Bink around until she makes me go play in a different room (this happens at least once a day), decorate, and watch old Dawson's Creek episodes on Netflix.  If I had a cool phone or took nice pictures I would totally show you what we've got so far, but neither are happening so I will tell you that I just got this and it is extra cute:

I got it at a store in Portland, ME, but you can get it online, like, anywhere.

We have a playroom that we keep Bink's stuff and our decrepit couches in, which is fine because I don't care if they get destroyed, but I am trying to class it up a teeny bit.  But really, anywhere I am is the epitome of class.  Or something. 

Also, in our foyer, I forced my dad (what, he is good at it and I am NOT) to paint a card table that we had candy-apple red and I put down a black and white chevron rug with a sunburst mirror and it is bank.  Again, I have no pictures but this is the rug:

Cute and hides stains with its' busyness.  Busy-ness?

So decorating is super fun and my next purchase is going to be some sort of antler.  I married into a hunting family, so really, I'd like Husband to bag a deer (I think that is how fancy hunters say it, but probably not) and we could have a REAL head, but in the interim I'm looking for the fakies for our man-town living room.  



I like that this is a rhinoceros. That is all.

When I'm not doing this, I am watching season 3 of Dawson's Creek and holding out for when Pacey and Joey bone.  It is so, so good.  Like, as awesome as I remember it being in 1999.  And obviously I think I am Joey Potter.  Obviously.  Oh, Pacey... sigh...

I'll Make Love to You Tuesday

So I've imposed a shopping ban.  And everything in the world is cute and buyable.  So I may break that today, we will see.  Anyway, here are some awesome things you can buy or read or watch or listen to.

Body by Bethenny.  I bought this because they used to have it for free on OnDemand and they took it away and it only cost $8 and I am obsessed.  I HATE exercising but realize that it is very necessary and therefore I do this one.  Love it.



Don't hate it and it's doable, the only things I look for in exercise.

Maybelline The Falsies Flared Volum'Express mascara.  My first love is the Trish McEvoy tubie mascara, but it dries out within a few months and it costs $30 so a budget friendly version was in order.  This one, I love.  But you need to use eyemakeup remover to take it off and not look like a morning after hobag, even if that is what you are. 

Total drag queen lashes. Fabulous.

Animal prints for Bink.  So, I hate light pink and girly stuff.  Well, not entirely true but I hate dressing Bink in babyish clothes.  She is fun and flirty and should be dressed accordingly.  Fun and flirty!  Anyway, girlfriend's fall and winter wardrobe is comprised of hot pinks, reds, and animal prints.  It is SO cute.  GapKids has a ton of cute stuff, but of course I can't find anything online, and I got some fleeces from Old Navy and Kohls.  It all goes together in a Garanimals type of way, and it's super cute. 

Love this when it goes on super crazy sale. Because Bink grows WAY too fast for a $60 dress. I don't even wear $60 dresses.

One King's Lane.  They have sales!  And it's fabulous!  And it's awesome.  Seriously, I found some really cool stuff for Bink and Turkish towels for super cheap so I can be Gwyneth Paltrow.  Because all I truly want is to either be Paul Simon or Gwyneth Paltrow.  And click on this link and I'll get tons of cash:  BUY ME!!

Now for an honorable mention: The Mindy Project.  So the first episode was okay, the second one was funny, and the third one sucked.  I will continue to give her a chance, but I really hope it gets funnier, because I feel like that crazy nurse guy could be HILARIOUS.