I'll Make Love to You Tuesday

First, right?

I have found many things that I would like to make love to, and wanted to share them because if I like it, I imagine you want to know, right?  WHAT.

1. White Chocolate Macadamia Clif Bars.  Um, why didn't you tell me about these?  Delicious.
2. This salad that I've been eating everyday: blackberries, strawberries, arugula, cucumber, goat cheese and walnuts.  No dressing, just throw it in a bowl.  HEAVEN.
3. White Sperry Topsiders.  Yes, they are obnoxious but it can't be helped, it's the truest of true love.
4. BaubleBar.  Cute, well-made jewelry that's not expensive and awesome.  I've gotten like ten things and I'm in love.  Free shipping and $10 off your first purchase.  It is awesome and you should try it and click through my link to buy your billions of things so I get more free jewels.  Free jewels!  So much cute stuff.
5. Miss Advised on Bravo.  It is DRECK.  It's terrible.  But I cannot get enough of it.  I love Julia Allison and her cute outfits!!! 

Five is a good number to start.  Hopefully we'll make some moves on a house today - fingers crossed!! 

Um, People are Still Finding Us... From Today

duckface jokes full house i made duck faces before	2
jodie sweetin drugs	2
apartment decorating waste	1
funny gremlin pics	1
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kelli williams nude	1
mountains swim the sea song	1
olsen twins hot pants	1
sad kitten face	1
smuckers dinosaur glasses	1	

I Know, I Know...

Oh... hi there.  I think I remember you?  You look so much younger and thinner in person.  Anyway, yes, I have been gone for the better part of six weeks, but it's not my fault!  SO much has been going on that I've had a hard time teasing out everything that's happened and happening and when that happens, I tend to retreat.  I guess part of it is that I kind of feel like if I write about things before they happen, they won't happen.

No, I'm not pregnant.

What?  That is always my first assumption, but no, I am not.  The wine still flows freely.  And also, I like a little beer again every now and then.

This is boring.  I'm rusty.

Anyway, the big upheavals in Binkland involve a new job for Husband, a new car situation and major house hunting that has been taking FOREVER.  Dude, this is draining!  We're on our third offer and my nerves are seriously frayed.  Frayed, I tell you!  I know it will all be worth it, obviously, but I'd like it to be done sooner than later, you know?  So I can start buying my non-VOC paint and fancy rugs.  But the search still continues. 

So it's all been really great stuff, just a lot of stuff, and also we've been away a lot.  So I guess that has something to do with it. 

I will be back, and writing super hilariously hilarious things, but today will not be one of those days.

OH.  Also, I juice now.  I KNEW there was another life-changing event!  Yes, I pulled out the juicer we insitsted on registering for at our wedding and it is the best thing ever.  Guys, seriously - juice.  Then you can have wine and cheese and it all evens out. 

There was a girl bleaching her mustache in the PUBLIC locker room at the gym.  And there now hang multiple signs in said locker room warning that if anyone dyes their hair, they will be in big trouble.  Ew. 

Search Term Thursday - Spoiler: these are dumb

zack attack friends forever

boof from teen wolf

can someone please tell me who this gorgeous cutie

google pictures of stephanie tanner

sleep is so 2009   ONE is sort of funny.

What up Thursday?

You know how sometimes you wake up and it's a great day?  Today is one of those days.  I requested my June vacation time off, I signed up for a makeup class (Trish McEvoy!  It is going to  be awesome!!) and tonight I am not making dinner. 

OH, and I am reading a book that I love thus far.  The Paris Wife - READ IT.  So far, it is pornish for me because I think I am a female-and-not-talented-or-THAT-crazy Ernest Hemingway.  I love him, I don't care if it is clichee (I say this because I would read this and be like "Um, shut up you are annoying.") and at least in the beginning of this book (that's where I am, don't tell me the end if you read it) and I want to make love to "In Our Time" I am so obsessed with it.  So yes, for me, it is pornish. 

In college, my two best friends and I were on "Team Thursday".  Regardless of what was going on, every Thursday we would bust out our fake IDs, get really dressed up in sl^tty black pants and keep our money in our bras, and get really drunk and have so much fun.  There was even a point when two of us were not speaking for a while, and we STILL did Team Thursday and it was still awesome.  Oh, to be nineteen and dumb.  But I definitely feel like this is a Team Thursday sort of day - exciting and fun.  Except I am at work and will be going home to a 19-month-old-tomorrow and probably spend my evening watching Peppa Pig and reading mermaid books.  Both scenarios are equally fun.  Right?! :)

Annnnnnnd we're back!

Oh, hello there...

I took a brief absence to handle some family issues (no worries, everything is fine!) and now I'm back to let you know I can really shake 'em down.

Yes, that is a Dirty Dancing reference.  Dirty Dancing is totally one of those movies that you thought you understood when you were in  third grade, and then you watched it two months ago and realized you missed a TON.  Like, "dirty knife and a folding table".  Um, terrible.  I had no idea what that doctor was actually doing to Johnny's "friend".  I forget her name, but loved her hair.

I digress.

So summer's here and the time is right for drinking lots of wine and eating organic foods.  Oh, you don't know I do this now?  I buy a lot of organic stuff and I am not going to lie, it makes me feel better.  It could be coupled with the fact that I am actually eating produce, period, and buying regular stuff would have the same effect (I don't buy all organic, but I do get milk, eggs, the important produce, and cookies), but more than likely, this is something we'll never know.  Like the Tootsie Pop owl.  Or geometry.

For reals, have you guys made any changes like this that you can actually see results?  I never do anything different because I tend to be lazy, but making changes like this may actually pay off in terms of having more energy and having to wear less make-up, because my dark circles aren't as bad. 

Oh, and I'm out of blush.  Suggestions?  I find that creme blush stays on longer, which I like - I've only tried Bobbi Brown thus far and I like it, but want to try something different because, um, I do. 

Speaking of beauty products, http://www.b-glowing.com/ is awesome and they have a discount code if you want it.  They have good stuff, especially Kai perfume, which I wear in the summer and not that many places carry it.

Today I ran at the gym.  Fine, it was fast walking.  But it felt really good.  Now I'll go home and eat a bag of chips and not care because 1. I ran for 20 minutes and 2. they are organic.  Which means calorie free. 

Also, has anyone noticed that TV has been lame lately?  As someone who loves TV more than, well, anything, it's kind of disappointing.  What shows are you watching?  BESIDES Crossing Jordan, I already watched all of those.

Yes, all of those.  WHAT.

Yours in caustic freedom,
K

I WANNA EAT IT!

Okay, so today I got a manicure-pedicure.  I do this every so often, and today I had a Groupon, so why not?  This is why not:

1. When I was walking in, this crazy girl MUSCLED past me to get ahead of me in line.  She picked two colors that were too close to look different and too different enough to look nice and I hated her for life and gave her the stinkeye for 45 straight minutes. 
2. It was a small place and there weren't enough people so it took FOREVER and the woman kept getting up to answer the phone and stuff and it was annoying.
3. A man ended up doing my manicure after my interminable pedicure (OMG how snobby do I sound?  It just took forever and it was hot in there and I wanted to be done) and he wanted to make small talk.  I am way too shy for small talk, so it was awkward.
4. Obviously this is the part where I tell the story that I really wanted to tell.  This poor man was talking away and I was just sort of half-listening and he says "Love your necklace."  I say "thanks."  He says "It looks so good I WANNA EAT IT!"

...

...

... did you want me to repeat that?  Because that IS what he said and I couldn't leave because he was only half done and my horror and mortification was so obvious that he thankfully refused to make eye-contact with me for the remainder of the appointment.

I WANNA EAT IT!

I am STILL embarrassed for him.