Reasons Why I Can't Work Out.

When I am feeding the baby at 3 am, I'm like "I should totally work out tomorrow."  And then it's 6 am and I'm like "Oh, TV."  So there goes that.  Except we DON'T watch much TV, which is heartbreaking, but what can you do?  Anyway, there are many other reasons why it is impossible for me to work out.  Here is a sampling:

I have a two year old and a newborn.  I'm too tired to work out.
I was sick when I was pregnant two months ago, so I'm still recovering from that.
I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm not wearing a bra, and I spent the whole day running errands.  I'm too embarrassed to work out.
Spanx were invented for a reason; if I don't use them, they'll go out of business.  It's really for the Spanx employees.
My kid has croup.  I need to sit next to her and watch Peppa Pig.  No time to work out.
Also, my kid has croup.  Can we discuss?  If we do, there will definitely be no time to work out.

And here is the biggie, the one that always tips the scales to laziness:
I. Don't. Wanna.

So when I cry at 4 p.m., about to leave for a 6 p.m. wedding and the dress I bought doesn't fit around my butt, I have nobody to blame but myself.  Or EVERYTHING ELSE, see above.