Monday, we're back to regularly scheduled programming

Swearsies.  Yup, S, I said swearsies.  And I MEAN it.

Anyway, the move commences this weekend, which means a few things...

1. Back to having a life.  It's been packing, bringing stuff to the new house, renovating the new house, all that stuff for about a month.  I will tell you, it stinks.  I am SO excited to be done with that it is not to be believed.  That said, I think last night I MAY have hit rock bottom.  Advise: last night I packed until the living room was full and there was nowhere to put boxes, so I took a short break.  I poured a nice big glass of three-buck-Chuck, foraged in our pitifully empty fridge (obviously, who grocery shops just to schlep everything across town?  No, thanks.) and found some potato salad my aunt had made for us.  Note: I hate potato salad passionately.  PASSIONATELY.  But for some reason, my aunt's potato salad is the greatest thing in the whole world.  So I grabbed the giant Tupperware she'd given me (she also made us a ham and chicken soup, HEAVEN), sat on the couch, and turned on the TV.  And that is when I remembered.  I did it.  I did the most amazing thing ever over the weekend.

I taped Phat Girlz.

What is Phat Girlz, you ask?  Um, only the most ridiculous and hilarious movie EVER.  It stars Mo'nique before she was Precious's mom and it is basically about this heavy girl and her best friend, who are getting screwed eight ways to Sunday for not being skinny, when they meet an African prince and his Arsenio Hall-esque lackey a la Coming to America, and guess what?!  They all fall in love!  And then randomly for no reason Mo'nique becomes a famous fashion designer and her clothing line is called... wait for it... Thick MaDAME.  OMG, I am laughing so hard just sitting here thinking about it.  It's on Oxygen ALL the time at, like 2 AM.  You MUST DVR it.  It is SO amazing.

So I turn on Phat Girlz and am laughing uproariously and drinking my wine and eating a giant plastic bowl of potato salad when Husband comes home early and totally catches me with, like, mayonnaise on my face.  We may be getting divorced.  Just kidding, he thought it was hot.  ANYWAY, that is legit the ONLY story I have from the past month. 

2. I can continue spending all the money in the world on home decor.  I love it, but wow, expensive!  Living in crappy apartments you don't care about is cheap.  Having a home that is 5x the size of the apartment and you care about it?!  Expensive!  But that's okay, because I can spend all day secretly pretending I am Genevieve Gorder, aka My Idol (that makeup!  That hair!  The way she says assessories!) and buying elephant tables.  When it is set up, I'll show you and you will love it.  Promise.  Unless you hate it.  If you do, don't tell me, okay?

3. Produce.  I will start buying it again.  Thank GOODNESS.

There's more, I know there is, but I'm tired now and have to get back to doing important things like not getting pedicures.  So we'll come back on Monday, refreshed, recharged, and ready to tackle life.  I leave you with this.  You are so, so welcome.