BLARGH

I had BETTER not be getting sick.

Here's the reason.

Well aside from the fact that nobody except Phoebe Buffay (that can't be spelled right) wants to have any sort of ear/nose/throat ailment (PLEASE tell me you get this reference), I have a big weekend coming up.

I will be visiting the "other coast" to celebrate a certain fabulous bestie's fabulous descent into wedded bliss at the most fabulous bachelorette weekend ever.  Seriously, it's going to be amazing.  Not to give too many details, but Weird Al Yankovic and I are probably going to fall in love and get married.  And more importantly, Chris Elliott and I are going to finally reconcile if there actually IS anything funnier than a fat-ass, floating cupcake, even one that spits tobacco.  Need I explain?

I bet right about now you're wondering... why you are reading this post.

So growing up, among my favorite movies was, of course, Cabin Boy.  And one of my favorite movies currently is, of course, Cabin Boy.  My other bestie (WHAT, I am not ashamed to talk about my friends this way, like we are in third grade, so eat it, Urkel) will be picking me up and through a series of very random circumstances, it is likely I will be in close proximity to the one and only Nathaniel Mayweather.  Through another set of very random circumstances, I have an autographed copy of Cabin Boy (signed by Chris Elliott, although Andy Richter would have been equally awesome).  Now the question is: do I bring this DVD with me on my trip to get him to re-autograph it?

No, that would be silly!!

But don't think I didn't think of it for a minute.

Say what?? So it's NOT cool to act like a jerk in front of a random man you don't know, famous or otherwise? Blaspheme!

Anywho, if I get sick, and miss my opportunity to fully appreciate these two icons of manliness and have my picture taken with them multiple times without crazy red nose or other snot-related issue, there will be hell to pay.

Don't think you are alternative and cool by saying this is a good show. It isn't. Except for the theme song, which is the best REM song ever of all the REM bubblegummy pop songs. There are a lot of those, right?

Like, I'll make you watch "Get A Life".  WARNING.  Do NOT go on Netflix or whatever and think it will be so cool and fun to revisit this sitcom, because you will be disappointed.  I did it, and I cried afterward.  It sucks.  So don't pretend it's cool and that you love it, because I'll know you haven't actually watched it since you were eight, when let's be honest, you thought Skidz were cool.  You have been warned.