I go to the gym. I feel like it is important (Incentive Pants totally fit again, PHEW) because I don't get much exercise outside of it, and I want Bink to feel like activity is a good thing.
(Side: She HATES McDonalds. There MUST have been a mix-up in the hospital. My Mom gets me an Arch Card for every major holiday and it is always my favorite gift.)
Anyway, today I was coming into the locker room and there was a girl standing in front of one of the mirrors. She was wearing a longsleeved t-shirt and was putting her hair in a ponytail. She was completely naked from the waist down.
This is really weird, right? Like, really weird. I am very much pro-pant and do not think it is appropriate to do mundane things like put hair in ponytails with no unders on. I don't care if you think I'm wrong, if this is wrong, I don't wanna be right. I feel the same way about lovin' you...
11/14/11
What a Difference a Night Makes...
So Bink has been going through some serious teething lately, which has turned her into a crabfest. She has also made the amazing transition from formula (expensive, left Mom poor) to milk (wonderfully inexpensive, I throw money in the streets a la Monopoly Man), which has left her with some "digestion" issues.
Ergo, I have not slept. Here was me yesterday:
So my sainted mother took Bink for a sleepover last night, wherein I slept from 6:30 p.m. until 7:00 this morning. And here I am today:
OMG WHY do kids not sleep?! I sleep! Husband sleeps! We love it! Why does Bink hate it so much? It's so amazing! Anyway, I called the doctor, who had some advice for the milk issue, and stocked up on baby advil for the teeth, so hopefully tonight we'll all enjoy the soothing sounds of silence, until my wall calendar falls off of the fridge and crashes to the floor at 4 a.m., as it did last night, but once we figure out that it isn't a robber, all will be right with the world. Fingers crossed!!
Ergo, I have not slept. Here was me yesterday:
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| No! Sleep! Since Thursday!! |
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| You're welcome. |
It's All Right, 'Cause it's Saved by the Bell Thursday! (On Monday, what?!)
Okay, my dears, it's time for the all-important weekly rundown of the coolest tertiary characters in the coolest show about high schoolers (if anyone thinks the original Degrassi is better, I will cut you, but then sort of agree. But only because they had babies in the bathroom, didn't they?) in Southern California at Bayside High.
Today's character is...
Craterface Coburn!!
Ah, Craterface... where do we begin? Craterface was known in many circles at Bayside High for having the worst skin ever, as well as the worst laugh ever. Screech accidentally invented the world's greatest zit cream and in order to test its strength, they immediately call on dear old Craterface Coburn to test out the products. Lo and behold, they work! Craterface's face is as smooth as a baby's bottom, and nobody even believes it's him, until he laughs that zany horselaugh and everyone is sold! Until the cream ends up turning everyone's faces maroon and one would think it's curses for Screech and Zack (obviously Zack is handling the "marketing") until they realize that Bayside's colors are gray and maroon, so it's a display of school spirit, not bad skin!
I KNOW this is all correct, but let's just check in with the webs to be sure...
Charlie "Craterface" Coburn
Charlie was nicknamed "Craterface" because his face apparently was covered with acne (but not shown that way in any episodes). He was used by Zack to demonstrate a miracle blemish cream that Screech had accidentally invented in Chemistry class. As he was famous around Bayside for his extraordinary acne, he was a shining endorsement for the cream when it completely cleared up his face; so much so, that the school didn't believe it was really him. So Charlie performed his trademark chuckle as proof it was really him.
ALSO, his episode was called "Cream for a Day", which is obviously a reference to the other plotline of the episode, which was Kelly being voted Homecoming Queen. I assume you knew that, however.
Okay, so who played Craterface? What is his deal? Is he real? Let's find out...
His name is Scott Fults. HE WAS 28 YEARS OLD WHEN HE PLAYED CRATERFACE. He was also on 90210 once in an episode I don't remember and also once on Growing Pains. Snooze. Well, his name on Growing Pains was Leo Limetongue, so FINE, that is sort of awesome, but HMPH. I'm disappointed. There is enough information out there to make him a total NOT mystery and yet the information available is wicked boring.
At least this picture exists:
Today's character is...
Craterface Coburn!!
Ah, Craterface... where do we begin? Craterface was known in many circles at Bayside High for having the worst skin ever, as well as the worst laugh ever. Screech accidentally invented the world's greatest zit cream and in order to test its strength, they immediately call on dear old Craterface Coburn to test out the products. Lo and behold, they work! Craterface's face is as smooth as a baby's bottom, and nobody even believes it's him, until he laughs that zany horselaugh and everyone is sold! Until the cream ends up turning everyone's faces maroon and one would think it's curses for Screech and Zack (obviously Zack is handling the "marketing") until they realize that Bayside's colors are gray and maroon, so it's a display of school spirit, not bad skin!
I KNOW this is all correct, but let's just check in with the webs to be sure...
Charlie "Craterface" Coburn
Charlie was nicknamed "Craterface" because his face apparently was covered with acne (but not shown that way in any episodes). He was used by Zack to demonstrate a miracle blemish cream that Screech had accidentally invented in Chemistry class. As he was famous around Bayside for his extraordinary acne, he was a shining endorsement for the cream when it completely cleared up his face; so much so, that the school didn't believe it was really him. So Charlie performed his trademark chuckle as proof it was really him.
ALSO, his episode was called "Cream for a Day", which is obviously a reference to the other plotline of the episode, which was Kelly being voted Homecoming Queen. I assume you knew that, however.
Okay, so who played Craterface? What is his deal? Is he real? Let's find out...
His name is Scott Fults. HE WAS 28 YEARS OLD WHEN HE PLAYED CRATERFACE. He was also on 90210 once in an episode I don't remember and also once on Growing Pains. Snooze. Well, his name on Growing Pains was Leo Limetongue, so FINE, that is sort of awesome, but HMPH. I'm disappointed. There is enough information out there to make him a total NOT mystery and yet the information available is wicked boring.
At least this picture exists:
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| In sum, my fellow Americans, I am entirely unexceptional. I apologize for your boredom and promise next SBTB Thursday will include someone much funnier and more ridiculous. |
11/10/11
A Thanksgiving Tradition-al Response...
They are MUCH faster this year than they used to be. I guess Katy Homes got promoted...
November 10, 2011
Dear Ms. K,
Thank you for sharing your idea with us. We always enjoy hearing from our consumers.
Our company strives to offer quality products and packaging to the greatest number of customers possible. We will report your comments to our marketing personnel.
We appreciate your interest in our products. Please expect to receive coupons via mail in 7-10 business days.
Sincerely,
Tara Barnhart
First of all, Tara didn't even address my question! Nothing Pocket-specific, which is really insulting. Especially because there has never been a better idea, EVER. HMPH. Oh, well, there's always next year, brother...
Disappointing Pockeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet...
November 10, 2011
Dear Ms. K,
Thank you for sharing your idea with us. We always enjoy hearing from our consumers.
Our company strives to offer quality products and packaging to the greatest number of customers possible. We will report your comments to our marketing personnel.
We appreciate your interest in our products. Please expect to receive coupons via mail in 7-10 business days.
Sincerely,
Tara Barnhart
First of all, Tara didn't even address my question! Nothing Pocket-specific, which is really insulting. Especially because there has never been a better idea, EVER. HMPH. Oh, well, there's always next year, brother...
Disappointing Pockeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet...
Sometimes I Pretend I'm French
And today is one of those days. I am listening to Francoise Hardy on Pandora, re-reading my favorite stupid book "Entre Nous" for the 1538905868htjeriogjklsjugirth time in a row (or is it rd?) and trying to be a good woman. Feel free to hate me forever, I sort of do.
I'm just having a crappy day - it's pouring out, work is kicking my butt, and I spent way too much time thinking about Hot Pockets this morning. Going to a wine bar tonight, so fance, so I am sure things will improve, but ech. Glad it's Thursday. And that I'm faux French today. Mon cher!
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| I don't care I love it. |
A Thanksgiving Tradition...
Many years ago, my dear brother and I began a Thanksgiving tradition that really captures the essence of our relationship. Through good times and bad, my baby brother has always been there for me, and the holiday season never truly begins until we embark on our yearly pilgrimage (via email, obviously) to Hot Pocket Land. Where we request a Thanksgiving pocket. This is what we've been writing basically since 2001:
Good morning! I would like to submit a suggestion for your already wonderful assortment of products. The Thanksgiving pocket! Holiday season is almost here and I would love to experience turkey, gravy, stuffing and cranberry sauce in a delicious Hot Pocket. All best! Love, K
And every year they reply something lame (I randomly cannot cut and paste it, which sucks because it is hilarious) - the EXACT SAME something lame, and it's always from a girl named Katy Homes. No joke.
So we sent the email in today, and we will see what happens. Note: I don't really eat Hot Pockets (anymore, I used to eat them all the time and am now dying for a Cheese Pizza pocket) now, but isn't that an AWESOME idea?! Come on! You know you'd be into it when you were wasted at 7-11, picking up snacks for your walk home to your mom's house after a night on the town (just me? Yikes!) and you can also be famous by association. Because now you know. The campaign for the Thanksgiving pocket begins... ten years ago! Hooray!
Also, I have a Hot Pockets t-shirt that I got from submitting UPC codes that says "Hot and cheesy, fast and easy" and it is the greatest thing of all time.
Good morning! I would like to submit a suggestion for your already wonderful assortment of products. The Thanksgiving pocket! Holiday season is almost here and I would love to experience turkey, gravy, stuffing and cranberry sauce in a delicious Hot Pocket. All best! Love, K
And every year they reply something lame (I randomly cannot cut and paste it, which sucks because it is hilarious) - the EXACT SAME something lame, and it's always from a girl named Katy Homes. No joke.
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| Hooooooot pockeeeeeeeeeeeets. PLEASE tell me you've seen this. Hysterical. |
Also, I have a Hot Pockets t-shirt that I got from submitting UPC codes that says "Hot and cheesy, fast and easy" and it is the greatest thing of all time.
11/8/11
Snack Packs are Awful.
I don't think I really have anything more to say about that. Seriously, they are. Especially room temperature. At least when they've been in the fridge, they taste like cold (tastes like burning!).
Oh, I have a bunch of Snack Packs at my desk from my tooth incident and I just ate one because, well, it's like Randy Jackson's autograph, you're not gonna not, you know? But Billy is wrong. Snack Packs at room temperature taste like squishy chemicals.
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| Sorry, you're not the coolest. This is the kind I have right here, maybe the full-fat ones are better? |
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