What up, fancyface?

So across the street from my office is a place full of awesomeness that is there for no reason.  It is a wine and cheese store and it is amazing, yet I work in a place that doesn't REALLY get much shopping traffic.  But who cares, more for me!  They are SO nice, and it's reasonably priced, AND they let you try stuff.  So I got a haul for Husband and I tonight and probably I'll win wife of the year award, if that award is given by me.  But I got a bottle of wine that cost TWENTY DOLLARS.  I know!  I'm going to start calling everyone "dahhhhling" and wearing velvet pantaloons at all times.  That is what fancy people do, I saw it on the news. 

This is what came up when I Googled "fanciest girl ever". Why is the Internet so weird?!
And I got proscuitto, and three kinds of cheese, one of which is $30 a pound.  Obviously I bought two bites of it, but who cares?!  Fanciest, remember? 

Annnnnd this is what came up when I Googled "velvet pantaloons". Don't worry, Internet, we're friends again.
Booze-springa is very high-class this year...




So Husband is taking little Bink to his homeland this weekend.  Without me.  So this means I have 24 hours of total and utter freedom.

I am doing the Oops, I Did it Again! dance. 

I will begin that I am ALREADY choked up about being away for one night.  But since I have not done one thing by myself this year, it is due.  So here is the plan:

  • Watch One Tree Hill on SoapNet whilst giving myself a mani-pedi that will actually not smudge because it will have time to dry. 
  • Make homemade mac and cheese.
  • Go to McDonalds.
  • Go to Brother's house.  My brother and I are the coolest and funnest in the world when we get together.  Here's why: we immediately start drinking whiskey.  This happened FAR more frequently in my younger, pre-Bink days, but this weekend, it is very much on.  We love whiskey like a fat kid loves cake, maybe even moreso, because when you drink your whiskey, you get really excited for things like cake and then eat a whole one. (Note: I am a Jack girl all the way, and Brother loves Jameson.  This works out even better because then there is no stealing.  Oh, and yes, we are in our thirties.)
  • In my head, we will also do many really cool and fun things that babies don't want to do, but I know that I will end up passing out within 2 hours and you know what, that's okay.   It's my booze-springa, and there are no rules.
  • Go home and eat more McDonalds.  If I haven't finished my homemade mac and cheese, I will then.  And maybe make more. 
  • Sleepsleepsleepsleep.
I am so excited I can't stand it.  Again, I am sad to leave Bink but if I don't spend these 24 hours away I will officially become a Lame Mom who has nothing going on outside of work and kids.  Probably I will also wear accessories and blowdry my hair. 

Oh, and buy houseplants for a greener living area.  WHAT.  Booze-springa has no rules!!!

Search Term Thursday - with comments!

brooke davis ugly
SHE IS NOT!  She is so pretty and has beautiful skin!
the miz doing the duck face
Who is the miz?  DJ Tanner?  If yes, then awesome.
what is wrong with christopher plummer's nose
"my sandals" site:blogspot.com
My sandals bring all the boys to the yard, it's true.
cute sloths hanging
You know how I feel about this.
gremlin robber
It is a huge problem in some states.
labyrinth caterpillar
Everyone loves this guy.
lmn movie nancy grace is in
Many, I feel.
olsen twins butt
sad kitten face
Is what we all make when someone says there is something wrong with Christopher Plummer's nose.

That's what we've got for today, goofballs!
Yours in the miz,


The Hunger Games

So my bestie gave me The Hunger Games trilogy last night.  Dude.  I can't put it down.  It's morbid, it's terrible, it is amazing!  Though now I can never see the movie because in my head, Peeta is strong and manly and dreamy like Zac Efron (WHAT) and I think in the movie, he looks like a kid I turned down in high school.  And there weren't many takers in high school, ifyouknowwhatimean.  What I mean is that I was a nerd, but even I think this kid is not for me.  Anyway, who has read these and wants to talk about them obsessively?  I never did Harry Potter or Twilight (I read some of them, but didn't get into it) so this is all new for me.

Yours in Effie Trinket's wig,


OMG busy.

Okay, so there are a few things we can discuss, and then I have to get back to being an office monkey.  That's what I do.  You didn't know?  Oh.  Well, there you go.

First, WHEN do babies stop getting teeth?  Bink should have like 57480 by now, but I think MAYBE she has ten.  Tops.  I'm tired of this whole not-sleeping and sad baby thing.  I was discussing with my friend today (Hi, S) that if babies were born with full sets of teeth, it would be much easier, but then it would be like this commercial, and no thanks.

I started reading the book "Healthy Child, Healthy World" and it has changed my life.  I already threw out all of my toxic, chemical, Bink-ruining items and bought a haul of earth-friendly, weird items like Borax and now none of us will ever die.  You're welcome.  What I am taking from this book is that it's easy to make little changes that improve your health and the environment you live in.  Like, I'm not going to stop going to McDonalds or using real make-up, come ON, but I am obsessed.  For now, anyway.  So we'll see.

Also, it was summer last week and today and yesterday were full on winter.  Um, I signed up for not this.  I want to wear my sandals.  Can anyone do anything about this?  I bought Bink sandals and they look so sad in their little box.  They just want to be loved.

And finally, in an effort to increase my green-ness, I am drinking a full-fat Pepsi.  No fake sugar, bitches!

Yours in white distilled vinegar and baking soda,


Search Term Thursday

jb and zack saved by the bell
sad kitten
violet from saved by the bell
dj tanner
duckface started from something
kelli williams
saved by the bell kevin
zack attack
boof teen wolf
friends forever zack attack episode

You guys are really on it today!  This is how you guys found me this morning.  It's like not even 10 yet.  Which leads me to believe you're still drunk from the night before.  I'm okay with that.



And in other news...

We are up and running on MovieQuoter!  Check it out!!

MovieQuoter - hooray!

Triannual Breakdown

I can sense that it is coming.

Did you read Tina Fey's Bossypants?  If not, do it.  It is hysterical and I still have my "Growing up and Liking It" pamphlet from lady-parts day in fifth grade, same one she talked about.  I digress.  In her book, she describes this, and I can sense mine coming on.  Mine are probably more frequent, as I don't have a Tina Fey-esque cool job, but it's the same sort of thing.

I can tell it is coming because this song came on just now, and I was literally doubled-over at my desk, sobbing.  When I was pregnant, I was sick all the time, the whole time, and crying ALL the time.  This song put me over the edge and obviously I listened to it nonstop.  Note: I am aware that this is Taylor Swift.

So everyone look out.  I am seriously losing it.  Now everyone let's talk about how this happens to you as well so I don't feel like I have to go back to my therapist.


Is decorating an apartment a waste?

Normally, I'm not hugely into home decor, but lately I've been on a kick and I'm dying to redo everything I own.  Trouble is, I'm in an apartment that I'll most likely be leaving this summer so the likelihood that all of the cool things I do will either be ruined or tossed in a move.  I guess I'll wait, but I am EXCITED.  Dude.  My house will be awesome.  For like 20 minutes at a time, until I get bored and want to watch TV.  You know what I mean.  But I  have big dreams and I am pumped.  No white walls, no sage green or cranberry anything, OMG I am SO excited.

Note: I had a triple latte and 2 fountain Mountain Dews today.  Not my fault!!  Bink was up all  night getting molars.  Her little gums look like steak.  Poor baby! 


What Would it Be?

So last night, I was watching Bob's Burgers with Husband after Bink went to sleep and it was hysterical.  Please, please, please watch Bob's Burgers as you will pee your pants with happiness.  Anyway, I forget how we got on the subject but we were talking about how if we could have one free item from the grocery store for life, what would it be?  It was a really hard decision.  We talked about this for a long time.  There are so many choices!  For example:
1. Kettle Chips - those fancy ones in the natural food aisle.  Delicious, and SO many flavors, you could have different ones whenever you wanted, depending on the mood you were in.
2. Velveeta - I nixed this one pretty quickly, as it is a very specific food.
3. Bacon - eh, I prefer to get this one when I go out.
4. Stuffing - really good, but come on, it's too easy. 
5. Double-Stuf Oreos - I looooove them, but I have to be in the mood for sweets, it's not an everyday thing.

What I finally came up with:
I feel this is an excellent choice.
This is the winner because making guacamole is a pain and you can always add cilantro and lime to this and it's heaven.  Also, you can eat it with almost everything that exists except cereal.  Now aren't you dying for everything I listed?  I am.  OMG I am so hungry.

Search Term Thursday - because you're weirdos on Monday morning, too!

sad dawson
brooke s kids one tree hill
christina applegate et matthew perry

I feel like that second one is like "dib" that we didn't know what it meant and are still too scared to find out. 

Watch this. You'll LOVE it.

Enjoy!  The beautiful and talented T from Year 31 has created an awesome new short film - and you will die over how gorgeous her hair is. 

Hooray! xoxo


Last week I was not around due to some family stuff, but now I'm back... to let you know, I can really shake 'em down. (cue the Dirty Dancing)

Anyway, not much new here except for the gorgeous weather, which of course makes me even MORE obsessed with buying my first house (and last house.  I am NEVER MOVING AGAIN!) and generally being very excited about life. 

A few things...

1. Bink walks a little.  On Saturday we were hanging out (actually being total zombies because girlfriend was up for the day at 3 AM.  Stupid teeth!) and it was naptime and we were like "Bink, nap!" and she slooooowly and dramatically stood up and wobble-walked four steps, and then dramatically sank to the ground.  It was like watching a dog ride a bike - it didn't seem real! (Dogs can't ride bikes, guys).  It was CRAZY.  She did it a few more times over the weekend.  She's not a walker yet, but we're getting there.
2. I put out her warm-weather clothes.  I need to stop buying.  But everything is so CUTE!!
3. Took a long walk yesterday and looked at more houses.  I wanted to have a wine-walk, but forgot to pack it.
4. Totally sober St. Pat's, which is fine, I was too tired to party!  I did dramatically retell Husband the story of our meeting (like he didn't know) and he was again moved to nausea at the way his life turned out.  Sucka!!



Today is the greatest day I've ever known...

SO - big day.  Like, huge.  (say this like Julia in Pretty Woman, except change "mistake" for "day")

1. Papa Gino's is doing 50% off all orders again.  Because they love us.  And we love cheese pizza with extra sauce and buffalo fingers.  Promo code: 4798
2. And now the real deal - okay.  So I think I may have mentioned that I am involved with this really awesome new site that's starting to get a ton of buzz and momentum and I am so excited they are letting me do this, right?  Well, we're making moves, so if you love movies, or me, or being cool, you have to get in on this...

It's called MovieQuoter, and it's awesome.  We share our take on news and other goings-on in the world, and how it pertains to what is really important, movie quotes.  Take a look, follow us on Facebook, vote on our March Madness Movie Bracket, basically see how not-funny I am in comparison to the guys who really know what they're doing.  I'm telling you, they're awesome.


Search Term Thursday - because you're weirdos on Monday morning, too!

I'm in love.  This knick-knack IS nicked, my friend.  This knick-knack is knicked...
it's alright 'cause i'm saved by the bell
unique bakery on dock
john stamos t shirt
satan school lifetime
this nick knack is nicked


It's All Right, 'Cause it's Saved by the Bell Thursday!

Two weeks in a row, guys!  TWO weeks in a row!  Okay, so in honor of the beautiful weather we are having here in New England, let's call out an old fave that has nothing to do with the beautiful weather - Graham from cut day!

Okay, so Graham (I THINK that is his name) has a fleeting role in our series, but is the catalyst for one of the dumber plotlines.  Okay, so it's Cut Day (did anyone have those in high school?  I did not, but it may only have been that I was nerdy and not invited) and the whole gang is excited to do awesome things like go to the beach and movies and the Max, because these are things they NEVER do.  Anyway, blah blah Zack can't go because he has too many skips, but he makes a bet with Slater that he'll attend every "event".  I believe they bet a dirt bike and a leather jacket, but I could just be making that up.  Okay, so la la Slater and Kelly randomly fall in love for five minutes, stupid, and Jessie and Slater break up with no hard feelings and are probably going out in the next episode anyway.  But who is Graham, you ask?

Jessie, being the stellar student she is, does NOT cut school, and the only other kid in class is the dreamy Graham, who also happens to be a wackjob environmentalist who likes to chain himself to things.  As the day progresses, they stage an intense protest against the man delivering styrofoam cups to the cafeteria and... um, FINE, I forget what else, but they end up falling deeply in love, Jessie and Slater break up, Jessie and Graham go off together, and of course he is never seen or heard from again. 

Graham (played by David Kriegel) was a student who appeared during junior year. While he was never seen before or after the "Cut Day" episode, both Jessie and Zack seemed to have at least basic knowledge of who he is. He has progressive views that dovetailed with Jessie's, earning her attention when he pointed out that the U.S. has never had a female President while other countries have (he mentions Indira Gandhi and Golda Meir). During the Junior Cut Day, Jessie and Graham stayed behind in school to protest the delivery of a package of Styrofoam cups. It was Graham’s presence, and the fact that Slater saw her having fun hanging out with him, that led Jessie and Slater to consider dating other people.

Oh, Graham, you are so progressive and wise!  Thank GOD he talked about the US not having a female president, otherwise I would have never known.  So, who's David Kriegel?

OMG!!! He was one of the robbers in the 90210 episode when the Peachpit gets robbed and Brenda is there and has to go to therapy and think about ponies!  I am peeing my pants.
1,2,3,4 don't use plastic foam no more! Or I'll shoot ya!
Also, I need more new things to occupy my brainspace.

It's Search Term Thursday!

OMG, I cannot even deal with the first one for today.  And STOP being mean about Christopher Plummer's beautiful nose!!

kelly kapowski camel toe
christopher plummer nose
cute sloth
dj tanner
kitten sad face
shannen doherty
sleep is so 2009
stacey carosi
stephanie tanner
violet m bickerstaff boyfriend


It's a Beautiful Day!

Spring may have sprung.  Hoo.  Ray.  I will keep you posted.  Because you don't have tv or access to weather.com.

Okay, here are some other reasons why today is awesome.  Took a LONG walk without a coat on.  Heaven.

Last night I watched the final episode of Crossing Jordan.  Yes, I said Crossing Jordan.  Reruns are on the "Crime and Investigation" network and I am completely obsessed.  So the last episode was on last night (it was really on in 2007, whatev) and this song was on at the end.  It makes me excited to be alive.

And tonight when I get home Bink and I are going to have a major dance party featuring these songs:

Woot woot!


For moms with girls...

Diapers & Daisies: Rules for Mothers of Daughters.

Read it.  I want to run home and squeeze Bink so she can yell "no more!" and crawl away at high speeds...

Confession time...

Okay, so I feel like it is important to share with you something so awful that I will totally understand if you want to return your bestie necklace.  My latest obsession, and I've sort of mentioned it before, has become a full-blown mania.

I want Bink and I to dress alike.  Just ONCE, even.  And take a picture.  Like, a GOOD picture that I will frame and enlarge and force Husband to hang on the wall and then I'll pretend to be embarrassed by it but I really won't be, I will think it is the greatest thing in the world.  It is totally dumb and embarrassing but I find myself looking at multiple websites daily for the perfect outfit. 

For shame.

I thought this lady only had a show in Boston. Is she a national phenomenon?!

What Counts and What Does Not Count

I feel like people who have blogs who just post a bunch of stuff they find on Pinterest and say "pretty!" aren't trying very hard. 

I'm so excited... I'm so excited... I'm so... PREG!

Jessie Spano is pregnant.  This baby could either be a politically-active, kind-of-slutty (we all KNOW what you did with Zack), curly-haired neurotic egghead (you cut to the core, Kelly Kapowski) or a straight-haired terrible dancer.  Oh, but she was an EXCELLENT dancer in the Miss Bayside episode - remember that?  She did that stupid interpretive dance about the caterpillar turning into the butterfly.  And she used that fake British accent that was delightfully ridiculous. 

I miss Saved by the Bell.


Friends 'Til the End, and why it is the best Lifetime movie ever

  1. It stars Shannen Doherty, Ron Livingston's not-famous brother, one of the London twins, and the wheelchair girl from Saved by the Bell (the one who says "love yourself, the rest will fall into place").
  2. Wheelchair girl's name in the movie is "Zan".
  3. Shannen Doherty plays a sorority girl with a charmed life.
  4. Mom jeans abound.
  5. Zan kills a guy from her past in a parking lot with a brick.  It takes MAYBE two hits.
  6. There is no reason for this movie to be titled "Friends 'Til the End."  It makes no sense.
  7. There is a random pregnancy scare for no reason.
  8. Zan's nervous breakdown at the end of the movie (spoiler alert!)
  9. Nobody can sing.
  10. Shannen Doherty in a rock band despite #9.
  11. They definitely thought they were going to be a famous band and sweep the nation, but then everyone saw these videos and Shannen had to start doing those commercials for online college.
Feast your eyes, lovelies...

Lifetime movies I started to watch but did not finish this weekend

1. Satan's School for Girls.  This one I watched all but the last few minutes of.  It stars Shannen Doherty and the guy who played Matt on 90210.  It is really bad and AWESOME.  Definitely watch this one.
2. Blue-Eyed Butcher.  This one stunk out loud.  The girl in it was also in that Lifetime movie that I am ALWAYS suckered into watching "The Party Never Stops", which is awful but I always forget. 
3. Solstice.  This one had Peyton from One Tree Hill in it.  I only saw like the first ten minutes.  Terrible. 

Oh, Lifetime, I love you.


Search Term Thursday, Because You're Weirdos on Friday

Advise?  These came up today.
cartoon sad kitty face
cute babies doin various act
what is wrong with christina applegate's teeth


It's All Right, 'Cause it's Saved by the Bell Thursday!

Obviously now we have to do the random Native American man that Running Zack had his entire life changed by for exactly one episode.

Okay, I sort of don't remember many details about this character (this is my way of saying I absolutely cannot remember his name off the top of my head but as soon as I look it up I'll be like "oh yeah, that's right") but the Zack wants what the Zack wants.  So I will soldier on.  I do remember this episode was the one where everyone found out about their heritage.  I forget what Kelly was, probably poor (I ONLY say this because the whole point of Kelly's character was that she was beautiful and poor and needed scholarships and they talked about it ALL the time for no reason), Screech was a Pilgrim, I think, Slater was heir to a tank top and Hammer-pants fortune (fine, I do not remember at all), Lisa's family were slaves and Jessie's family were slave-traders.  Let the hilarity ensue!
Um, were they serious?
This was a weird one, right?  So Zack didn't do his project or maybe ended up presenting something SUPER racisty and his teacher made him go meet the Native American man who liked to surf and then he called Zack "Running Zack" and then he died.

Saved by the Bell - 02x13 Running Zack
Seriously, this was a really weird episode. And this won't center.

Fine, I BARELY remember this one, but I think that's what happened.  Okay, let's check out what really happened.  Webs, gimme your best:
Zack fails his family heritage presentation. Unless he can make it up, he is off the track team. His teacher Miss Wentworth arranges a tutor for Zack named Chief Henry, who happens to be a Native American. Zack soon learns about his own Native American heritage, but does not feel like going to the upcoming track rally when tragedy strikes.

Snooze.  I like my description better.  And Chief Henry does NOT sound familiar to me. 

They're not wrong.

But these pictures I found when Googling are AWESOME:

Someone took the time to draw this. For that, I love them.